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While leading a party of girl scouts through the woods in silent Indian fashion, our troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing where a young couple was engaged in an indecent act.

“Back ladies, back!” cried the leader. “There’s a very dangerous beast out there!”

But it was too late, several of the kids had more-or-less seen all. They asked their leader what was happening.

“Well, if you… er… must know, they were practicing a brand new form of artificial respiration.”

“WOW!” exclaimed the oldest of the group. “I know which merit badge I’m gonna try for next!”

Q: Why do gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A: For traction in the mud.

It was time for Father John’s Saturday night bath and young Sister Magdalene Edwards had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed. Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Father John’s nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray.

The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday night bath had gone.

“Oh, sister,” said the young nun dreamily. “I’ve been saved.”

“Saved? And how did that fine thing come about?” asked the old nun.

“Well, when Father John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him, and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his legs where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven.”

“Did he now,” said the old nun evenly.

Sister Magdalene continued, “And Father John said that if the Key to Heaven fit my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I would be assured of salvation and eternal peace. And then Father John guided his Key to Heaven into my lock.”

“Is that a fact,” said the old nun even more evenly.

“At first it hurt terribly, but Father John said the pathway to salvation was often painful and that the glory of God would soon swell my heart with ecstasy. And it did, it felt so good being saved.”

“That wicked old Devil,” said the old nun. “He told me it was Gabriel’s Horn, and I’ve been blowing it for 40 years!”

Two gays are standing on a bridge watching ships pass by underneath them.

One says to the other, “What kind of ship is that?”

“Container ship.”

“OK, what’s that one over there?”

“Oil Tanker.”

“How about that one?”

“That’s a ferry boat.”

“Really? I knew we were strong, but I never knew we had our own NAVY!”

Q: Did you hear that 35% of all gay men were born that way?
A: The rest got sucked into it.



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