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A large, muscular guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are kissing in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress. After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, “See that, baby? That’s 1000 pounds of dynamite!”
She smiles.
The man then drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder’s pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, “See those, baby? That’s 1000 pounds of dynamite!”
Finally, he drops his boxers, and after a quick glance, she grabs her handbag and runs screaming to the front door.
He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, “Why are you in such a hurry to go?”
She replies, “With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!”

Two gays are driving down the street when they see a dog on the side of the road licking his pecker. “I sure wish I could do that,” said the one gay. To which the other replied, “Don’t you think you ought to pet him first?”

A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage
counselor. The counselor asks the wife about the problem. She
responds, “My husband suffers from premature ejaculation.”

The counselor turns to her husband and inquires “Is that true?”
The husband replies “Well not exactly, she’s the one that
suffers, not me.”

A man walks onto an airplane and takes his seat. He looks up and notices the most beautiful woman he has ever seen boarding the plane. He is nervous, and soon realizes that she is walking down the aisle toward him. When she takes the seat right next to him, he is anxious to begin a conversation. He asks, “Where are you flying to today?”

She responds, “To the Annual Nymphomaniac Convention in Chicago.” His mind reeling, he asks, “And what do you do at this meeting?”

“Well,” she says, “We try to dissolve some of the popular myths about sexuality.”

“And what myths are those?” he continues, choking back his excitement.

She explains, “Well, one popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed, when in fact, it is the Native American man who owns this trait. Also, it is widely believed that the Frenchman is the best lover, when actually it is men of Jewish decent who make the best lovers.”

“Very interesting…” the man responds.

Suddenly, the woman becomes very embarrassed and blushes. “I’m sorry,” she says, “I just feel so awkward discussing this with you when I don’t even know you! What is your name?”

The man extends his hand and replies, “Tonto……..Tonto Goldstein.”

Q: What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?

A: Invisible.



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