Joke's Database
ijokedb.com for sale, click here for price and more info.
     
Have fun searching 100253 jokes and pictures!


John pulled over the car by the side of the road and
showed Brian where he’d first had sex.
“It was right down there by that tree. I remember the day
plainly. It was a warm summer day. She and I were so much
in love. We walked down to the tree and made love for hours,”
“That sounds wonderful,” said Brian.
“Yes. It was ok until I looked up and noticed her mother was
standing right there watching us.”
“Oh my God!!! What did her mother say when she saw you
making love to her daughter?”
“Baaaaaaa.”

There was this hooker who mistook a Salvation Army man for
a soldier and propositioned him.
The Salvation Army gent said, “Ma’am, you may be forgiven,
as a pitiable victim of circumstances. Tell me, are you
familiar with the concept of ‘original sin’?”
The hooker replied, “Well, maybe and maybe not. But if
it’s “really” original, it’ll cost you an extra $20.”

Q: How many licks does it take a Blond to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?
A1: None, they don’t lick, they Suck!
A2: None, just one good Suck!

Q: Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life?
A: Because if you’ll eat that stuff, you’ll eat anything.

Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor said, “We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks.”

The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked, “Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?”

The old man replied, “No problem at all, Pastor.”

“Congratulations! Welcome to the church!” said the pastor.

The pastor went to the middle-aged couple and asked, “Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?”

The man replied, “The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes, we made it.”

“Congratulations! Welcome to the church!” said the pastor.

The pastor then went to the newlywed couple and asked, “Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?”

“No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks,” the young man replied sadly.

“What happened?” inquired the pastor.

“My wife was reaching for a can of paint on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there.”

“You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church,” stated the pastor.

“We know,” said the young man, “We’re not welcome at Home Depot anymore either.”



© 2015 ijokedb.com