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* I did my own thing and now I’ve got to undo it.

* I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.

* I have to floss my pets.

* I have to go to the post office to see if I’m still wanted.

* I want to spend more time with my blender.

* I’m attending the opening of my garage door.

* I’m building a pig from a kit.

* I’m doing door-to-door collecting for static cling.

* I’m enrolled in aerobic scream therapy.

* I’m getting my overalls overhauled.

* I’m going through cherry cheesecake withdrawal.

* I’m staying home to work on my mottled yogurt sculptures.

* I’m teaching my ferret to yodel.

* I’m trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.

* I’ve got plans to go downtown to try on gloves.

* It’s my parakeet’s bowling night.

* My patent is pending.

* The nice man on television told me to stay tuned.

Q: How can u spot a tough Lesbian Bar?
A: Even the pool tables don’t have balls.

Q: How do you know when you’ve satisfied a redhead?
A: She unties you.

Q: What is the difference between a Slut and a Bitch?
A: A Slut sleeps with everyone, a bitch sleeps with everyone but you!

Q: What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?
A: Fur traders.



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