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Q: How does Herpes leave the hospital?
A: On crotches.

After having been commissioned by God to take a survey of how man was doing on Earth, St. Peter now stood before his boss ready to present his findings.

“Tell me, St. Peter, what have you found out?” God asked.

“I’m very sorry to have to tell you this, but the people are behaving in a sinful manner. There’s drugs, alcohol, murders, you name it-a regular Sodom and Gomorra. But the worst is this new obsession with oral sex. According to my survey, 88% of the population is doing it. I’m afraid it has reached epidemic proportions.”

“Hmmm,” God said thoughtfully, “Do you have any recommendations as to what should be done to put an end to this sexual perversion?”

“I think we should send a message to everyone on Earth who engages in oral sex. The contents of that message should tell them exactly what will happen to them on Judgment Day if they do not stop this type of activity,” replied St. Peter.

“That is an effective solution,” God stated, “but I think that instead of punishing those who practice oral sex, we should reward those who refrain from it. Let’s send a letter that’s personally signed by me to each one of these good people.”

And so they did.

Do you know what the letter said?

No?

Hmmm… So YOU didn’t get the letter either, huh??

Buckwheat and Darla were in school, and the teacher asks Darla: “How do you spell ‘dumb’?”

Darla says, “d-u-m-b, dumb.”

The teacher says, “Very good, now use it in a sentence.”

She says, “Buckwheat is dumb.”

The teacher says, “Now spell ‘stupid’.”

Darla says, “s-t-u-p-i-d, stupid.”

The teacher says, “Very good, now use it in a sentence.”

Darla says, “Buckwheat is stupid.”

When the teacher calls on Buckwheat and says, “Buckwheat, spell dictate.”

Buckwheat stands and says, “d-i-c-t-a-t-e, dictate.”

The teacher says, “Very good, now use it in a sentence.”

Buckwheat ponders for a few seconds, then spurts out, “I may be dumb and I may be stupid, but Darla says my dictate good!”

Q: Why do we have orgasms?
A: How else would we know when to stop?

Q: How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
A: His hand caught fire.



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