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Q: Why can’t blonds water ski?

A: When ever they get wet they lay down and spread there legs.

There’s a fire at the whorehouse – some come out running and others run out coming!

A senior guy invited his girlfriend over because his parents were gone for the weekend, so his girlfreind arrived at his house they went to the bedroom and he forgot his younger brother was sleeping on the botttom bed so him and his girlfriend went on the top bed and they started talking and then things get heated up so he said scream TOMATOES if you want it harder and scream LETTUCE if you want a different position so she was screaming LETTUCE, TOMATO, LETTUCE, TOMATO, then she said stop pull it out becuase I cant get pregnant then the little brother woke up and said “will you guys please stop making sandwiches”…

Q: What’s the difference between mono and herpes?
A: You get mono from from snatching a kiss….

One day a teacher was teaching religion, when she asked the class “What part of your body do you think goes up to heaven first?”
Two children rose their hand. One was little Johnny. Hesitant to pick on him she chose little Mary.
“I think your heart goes first because, that’s were your emotions of love are.”
“Very interesting.” replied the teacher. Seeing no one else had their hand raised but Johnny, she finally called on him.
“I think your feet go up first.”
Confused but relieved the teacher said, “Why is that?”
Johnny replied, “Once when I walked in my parents room I saw my dad on my mom, and she had her feet in the air saying “Oh God!”

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