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A long-haired youth was hitchhiking through the deep South.
He got a ride from a mean-looking redneck trucker. After
riding about 30 miles in silence, the youth finally said,
“Well, aren’t you going to ask me?”
“Ask you what?”
replied the trucker.
“If I’m a boy or a girl,” answered the youth.
“Don’t matter,” replied the trucker. “Gonna fuck ya anyway.”

Three guys are walking down the beach, when they see this beautiful woman laying naked on the beach. The first guy goes over to her and starts making love to her, when she says, “What will we name the child?”

The guy freaks and runs away. So the second guy goes over to her and starts doing his thing when she says, “What will we name the child?”

He freaks out also and runs away. The third guy has been watching all this. So he puts on a condom and goes to do his thing. when she says, “What will we name the child?”

He ignores her and keeps on going. She keeps asking but he keeps going.

Finally he finishes and pulls off the condom, ties a knot in the end of the rubber and throws it in the ocean. He turns to the girl and says, “If he gets out of that, we’ll call him Houdini.”

A nun is walking down a deserted road when a man grabs her and starts
raping her. After the rapist is done, he says, “Hey Sister, what are you
going to tell the other Sisters now?”
“I’ll tell them the truth, that you grabbed me, threw me to the ground,
and raped me twice… unless you’re tired.” she responded.

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.

“Olympic condoms?” she asks, “What makes them so special?”

“There are three colors,” he replies, “Gold, Silver and Bronze.”

“What color are you going to wear tonight?” she asks cheekily.

“Gold of course,” says the man proudly.

The wife responds, “Really, why don’t you wear Silver, it would be nice if you came second for a change!”

Q: Why did God give men larger brains than dogs?

A: So they won’t hump women’s legs at cocktail parties.

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