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Q: What happened to the cheerleader when she did the splits?
A: 20 class rings fell out.

A policeman was patrolling near midnight at a local parking spot
overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside
with the dome light on. Inside there was a young man in the driver’s
seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat
calmly knitting.

He stopped to investigate.

He walked up to the driver’s window and knocked. The young man looked
up, obligingly cranked the window down, and said, “Yes, Officer?”

“What are you doing?” the policeman asked.

“What does it look like?” answered the young man. “I’m reading
this magazine.”

Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat, the officer then
asked, “And what is she doing?”

The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, “I think she’s
knitting a sweater.”

Confused, the officer asked, “How old are you, young man?”

“I’m nineteen,” he replied.

“And how old is she?” asked the officer.

The young man looked at his watch and said, “Well, in about twelve
minutes she’ll be eighteen.”

This cowboy was walking in the woods one day and he comes to a clearing. There on a blanket was a naked Indian with an erection.

“What are you doing?” the cowboy asks.

The Indian answers, “Me tell time.”

The cowboy says, “Ok. If you are so good, what time is it?”

The Indian looks down at his penis and the shadow it made and said, “It 2 o’clock.”

The cowboy looks at his watch and says, “By Golly, you are right!”

The cowboy starts walking again and comes upon another naked Indian laying on a blanket.

“Don’t tell me….you’re telling time also?”

Indian looks up at him and says, “Yes, me telling time.”

The cowboy says, “Okay smartass, what time is it?”

The Indian looks up at the sun and down at his penis and says, “It 4 o’clock.”

The cowboy is amazed at the Indians, so he keeps walking.

A few hours later he comes upon an Indian on a blanket, masturbating.

“Don’t tell me you are telling time!!??”

The Indian looks up at him and says, “No, me winding watch!!”

Q: What did one lesbian say to the other?
A: Your face or mine?

Q:What do you call two guys in a sleepping bag?
A: A gay time….

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