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A repeat offender got a life sentence for a small-time shoplifting caper in Jupiter, Florida. The man stole $49.73 worth of boxer shorts, panties, a sports bra and some cigarette lighters from a Wal-Mart store. His fatal mistake was flashing a knife at a security guard which turned his petty theft into a felony. Since the man had been released from prison less than three years ago, Florida’s repeat offender law required the judge to send him away for life without the possibility of parole.

An unemployed sanitation worker in Miami is also facing life in prison for shooting himself in the privates. In a drunken stupor, the man reached for a pistol he had hidden in his pants. The gun went off, and the bullet struck the man in the nuggets. At first, he told officers someone else had shot him, but changed his story after paramedics found the shell casing in his underwear. Cops ruled the shooting accidental, but the man was charged with a concealed weapons violation and possession of a firearm by a convicted felon. The maximum sentence for those crimes is normally 15 years but, because the man has a record as a violent career criminal, a Miami prosecutor is asking the judge to send him away for life. The man’s public defender calls that “ridiculous,” and says the man’s injury is punishment enough.

A luckless thief pleaded guilty to the attempted robbery of a convenience store in Detroit Lakes, Minnesota. The thief told a passerby he was going to rob the store, gave the man a dollar, and asked him to go inside and buy a scarf to hide his identity during the crime. The bystander took the dollar, went inside the store and called the police.

A thief in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina has learned a valuable lesson: if you’re going to steal restaurant equipment, be sure to remove pictures of the original owner’s grandchildren before setting the stuff up in your own restaurant. John Ubbing, owner of Giovanni’s Pizzeria in Calabash, North Carolina, lost an assortment of pizza-making equipment in a March robbery. A refrigerator stolen in the heist later turned up inside a Myrtle Beach restaurant where cops found pictures of Ubbing’s grandchildren still stuck to the side of it. The owner of the second restaurant was arrested.

During a high school break-in in Plymouth, North Carolina, two burglars found a camera in one of the classrooms and amused themselves by taking pictures of each other committing the crime. When they couldn’t figure out how to get the film out of the camera, they concluded it wasn’t loaded and left it behind. The men apparently didn’t realize they’d been fooling around with a digital camera. Investigators downloaded the snapshots to a computer and got a complete photographic record of the break-in. The suspects were quickly arrested.

A Nevada fugitive wanted on fraud charges was arrested in Connecticut after he blew his cover by applying for a job as a police officer. The Connecticut cops discovered the man’s fugitive status during a standard background check. He had passed both the written and agility tests before being found out. Police called the man in to headquarters under the guise of getting his fingerprints, and served him with an arrest warrant instead.

December 18, 1992

Three maintenance workers in Alexandria, Ind., fixed a massive street-flooding problem in October when they pulled a 200-pound hairball from a manhole. Said one of the men, “We thought we had a goat.”

January 16, 1993

Escondido attorney Ben Echeverria filed a $2 million lawsuit in August against Texaco Inc. and a local gas station manager because station attendants were pumping gas for women at self-service prices, but not for men.

The station almost immediately stopped its practice and forced women to start pumping for themselves.

BERLIN, Germany – In the northwest town of Luedenhausen, a family pet managed to endanger its family and save their lives all in one night.

A black and white cat named Mimi was playing in the family kitchen when it accidentally switched on an electric oven, igniting a stack of papers.

Fortunately, the clever feline was able to awaken the family by meowing loudly and pushing heavy objects on the floor.

A police spokesman quoted, “Mimi saved the family. There would have been a major fire had she not raised the alarm.”

Had it never been for Mimi… nothing would have happened.

According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem.
A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Finally, the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.

To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance guy to clean one of the mirrors. He took out a long handled squeegee, dipped it into the toilet and then cleaned the mirror.

Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.



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