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Q: What do you call a beautiful woman in Poland?
A: A tourist.

Q: What’s the difference between a conductor and a sack of shit?
A: The sack.

Q. What’s the definition of a gentleman?

A: Someone who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn’t.

Q: Why didn’t the tourist in the Arctic get any sleep?

A: He plugged his electric blanket into the toaster by mistake – and kept popping out of bed all night!

Q: Do you know the real reason Moses wandered in the desert for 40 years?
A: Because even back then men wouldn’t stop and ask for directions.

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