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Q. How does a blond turn on the light after sex?

A. She opens the car door.

Q: Did you hear about the planeload of conductors en route to the European Festival?

A: The good news: it crashed. The bad news: there were three empty seats on board.

Q: How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!

Q: If the guys in Big & Rich were nagging miners, what would they do?

A: Dig & Bitch.

Q: How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: Five – one to climb the ladder and the other four to say that should have been me!
A2: One to change it, and 99 to stand there and say “I could have done it better.”
A3: Just one. He stands there, and the world revolves around him.

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