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Q: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.

Q: What’s another name for pickled bread?

A: Dill-dough!

Q: Why does history keep repeating itself?
A: Because we weren’t listening the first time!

Q: How many auto mechanics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six – One to force it with a hammer and five to go out for more bulbs.
A: Two, one to screw in all the bulbs he has until he finds one that fits, and the other to tell you he thinks he’ll have to replace the whole socket.

Q: How are conductors and condoms similar?
A: It’s safer with them, but more fun without!

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