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Q: How do men define a “50/50″ relationship?
A: Women cook, men eat. Women clean, men get dirty. Women iron, men wrinkle.

How do you get a violist to play down bow staccato?

Put a tenuto mark over a whole note and mark it “solo.”

Q: What’s a gentleman?

A: Somebody who knows how to play the accordion, but doesn’t.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who thought he discovered that he had a twin brother?
A: He didn’t realize he was looking in a mirror.

Q: Why shouldn’t violists take up mountaineering?

A: Because if they get lost, it takes ages before anyone notices that they’re missing.

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