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Q: What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy?
A: A puppy stops whining after it grows up.

Q: What is the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead blond in the road?

A: There’s skid marks before the snake

Q: What game do four elephants in a “Mini” play?

A: Squash

A musician calls the symphony office to talk to the conductor. “I’m sorry, he’s dead,” comes the reply.

The musician calls back 25 times, always getting the same reply form the receptionist.

At last she asks him why he keeps calling. “I just like to hear you say it.”

Q: Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor?
A: She thought it was pregnant because it missed a period.

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