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Q: How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it’s
already burned out).

Q: How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. There never was any light bulb.

Q: How many physiotherapists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They just give the dead bulb some exercises to do and hope it will be working a bit better the next time they see it.

Q: How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: That depends on whether it has health insurance.
A2: None. They just tell it to take two asprin and come round to the surgery later.
A3: None. They only sign the death certificate and phone the mortuary.
A4: None. They would diagnose depression and prescribe benzo diazapines.
A5: Only one, but he has to have a nurse to tell him which end to screw in.
A6: Three. One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.

Q: How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: None: Real Men aren’t afraid of the dark.
A2: None of your damn business!

Q: How many Real Women does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None: A Real Woman would have plenty of Real Men around to do it.



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