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A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor.

The doctor began asking her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when she interrupted him: “Hey look, I’m a vet — I don’t need to ask my patients these kind of questions. I can tell what’s wrong just by looking. Why can’t you?”

The doctor nodded, looked her up and down, wrote out a prescription, and handed it to her saying, “There you are. Of course, if that doesn’t work, we’ll have to have you put down.”

A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor.

The doctor began asking her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when she interrupted him: “Hey look, I’m a vet — I don’t need to ask my patients these kind of questions. I can tell what’s wrong just by looking. Why can’t you?”

The doctor nodded, looked her up and down, wrote out a prescription, and handed it to her saying, “There you are. Of course, if that doesn’t work, we’ll have to have you put down.”

A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said “My dog’s cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?”
“Well,” said the vet, “lets have a look at him.”
So he picks the dog up and has a good look at its eyes. “Hmm,” says the vet, “I’m going to have to put him down”
“Just because he’s cross-eyed?” says the man.
“No, because he’s heavy,” says the vet.

Dr. Cutter is the local Veterinarian, known for his wry humor. He surpassed himself one summer day when a city dog was brought to him after an encounter with a porcupine.
After almost an hour of prying, pulling, cutting and stitching, he returned the dog to its owner, who asked what she owed.
“Fifty dollars, Ma’am,” he answered.
“Why that’s simply outrageous!” she stormed. “That’s what’s wrong with you Maine people, you’re always trying to over charge summer visitors. Whatever do you do in the winter, when we’re not being gypped here?”
“Raise porcupines, Ma’am.”

A man runs into the vet’s office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few Moments tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead. The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion.
The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog’s body. The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail poking and sniffing the dog’s body and finally looks at the vet and meows. The vet looks at the man and says, “I’m sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead too.”
The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead.
The vet brings in a black Labrador. The lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks. The vet looks at the man and says, “I’m sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too.”
The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes. The vet answers, “$650.”
“$650 to tell me my dog is dead?” exclaimed the man…
“Well,” the vet replies, “I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests.”



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