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The answer to the eternal question “Is it better to be a jock or a nerd?”

Michael Jordan makes over $300,000 a game. That’s $10,000 a minute, at an average 30 minutes per game. With $40 million in endorsements, he makes $178,100 a day, working or not.

* If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.
* If he goes to see a movie, it’ll cost him $7.00, but he’ll make $18,550 while he’s there.
* If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he’ll make $618 while boiling it.
* He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage.
* He’ll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends.
* If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours.
* If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second.
* He’ll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round.
* Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income into a tax deferred account (401k), he will hit the federal cap of $9500 at 8:30 a.m. on January 1st.
* If you were given a penny for every 10 dollars he made, you’d be living comfortably at $65,000 a year.
* He’ll make about $19.60 while watching the 100 meter dash in the Olympics.
* He’ll make about $15,600 during the Boston Marathon.
* While the common person is spending about $20 for a meal in his trendy Chicago restaurant, he’ll pull in about $5600.
* This year, he’ll make more than twice as much as all U.S. past presidents for all of their terms combined.

Amazing isn’t it?

However, if Jordan saves 100% of his income for the next 250 years, he’ll still have less than Bill Gates has today.

Game over. Nerd wins.

I had run across the term cyber sex a few times lately, so I decided to try to figure out what it meant. I figured it had something to do with the computer, so I started trying to find the sex drive on mine. I looked everywhere, in all the folders on the My Computer section, the add/uninstall software, install hardware part of the control panel, then I got out all the manuals and went through them. I finally came to the conclusion that my computer is not equipped with one.
So, I decided to go to the computer store and see if I could buy one. I wanted to look intelligent and scholarly, so I wore my math hat. Well, the salesperson in the first store was a rather stern looking woman. I gave her the make and model of my computer and asked her if she had any sex drives in stock. She kinda scowled at me and asked me if I was trying to get smart with her. Figuring she had been impressed with my math hat, I replied that I tried to be smart with everyone. She said, rather rudely I thought, that she couldn’t help me and walked away……huh, must not have had any in stock.
In the second store, I gave the salesperson the make and model of my computer and asked it they had any sex drives in stock. He kind of snickered and asked if I meant a hard drive. I thought about it for a minute and told him yeah, maybe that, but I think I should already have one installed. He started laughing at me – said something about me trying to kill him. You’re killing me! something like that, and walked away. Hmmmm, must be out here too. Must be hard to keep in stock. I wasn’t trying to kill him. I wasn’t even hurting him.
The guy in the third store laughed and asked me if I’d just fallen off the turnip truck. I assured him I’d never been on a turnip truck, but I’d fallen off the manure wagon a few times. He mumbled something about that explaining it. She’s fallen off the wagon, that explains it…. like that and walked away laughing.
The guy in the fourth store said something like boob under his breath and walked away. Wonder why he only noticed one? Anyway I figured they must not carry them in stores….maybe have to order from a catalog or something.
So that’s where I am now. If any of you have some computer skills and could help me locate my sex drive, I would appreciate it, then all I’d have to do is figure out what to do with it.

A friend was on duty in the main computer lab on a quiet afternoon when he noticed a blonde sitting in front of one of the workstations with her arms crossed across her chest, staring at the screen.
After about 15 minutes he noticed that she was still in the same position, only now she was impatiently tapping her foot.
Finally, he approached her and asked if she needed help. She snapped, “It’s about time! I pressed the F1 button over twenty minutes ago!”

1. “Duuuuuude! Bummer!”

2. “In layman’s terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect.”

3. “Your problem can be fixed, but you’re going to need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape and a car battery.”

4. “Press 1 for Support.
Press 2 if you’re with ’60 minutes.’
Press 3 if you’re with the FTC.”

5. “Hold on a second, please… Mom! Timmy’s hitting me!”

A man attempting to set up his new printer called the tech support number complaining about the error message: “Can’t find the printer.” On the phone, the man said he even held the printer up in front of the screen, but the computer still couldn’t find it!



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