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God, grant me the serenity to accept a post I cannot change,
Courage to walk past the computer without turning it on when I’m running late for work,
And the wisdom to know the difference between “come to bed now” meaning “let’s have some fun” and “come to bed NOW” meaning “that computer has got to go”!

– Amen

If cars were like computers they would:

1. ask you “are you sure you want the airbag to come out?” if you have a crash.
2. everytime you want to do ssomething you have to open the window(s)
3. everytime you want to shut it down you have to go to start, shutdow and press ok
4. if you dont do above, you have to wait for it to wait for about 5 minuets for it to check the disk
5. the more information is stored on it, the slower it will go.
6. if you get just too much stuff on it (like what happened to me), you have to break all the windows and get new ones

Thou shalt include a clear and specific subject line.

Thou shalt edit any quoted text down to the minimum thou needest.

Thou shalt read thine own message thrice before thou sendest it.

Thou shalt ponder how thy recipient might react to thy message.

Thou shalt check thy spelling and thy grammar.

Thou shalt not curse, flame, spam or USE ALL CAPS.

Thou shalt not forward any chain letter.

Thou shalt not use e-mail for any illegal or unethical purpose.

Thou shalt not rely on the privacy of e-mail, especially from work.

When in doubt, save thy message overnight and reread it in the light of the dawn.

That which thou findest hateful to receive, sendest thou not unto others.

My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank.

Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers.

One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: “I’ve got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?”

Due to the rampant “ILOVEYOU” virus affecting over 30 million computers worldwide, AOL has announced a change in their email program.
From now on, instead of the familiar greeting, “You’ve Got Mail!” you’ll now be greeted with, “You’ve Been Screwed!”

© 2015