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Q: What’s the moral of the story about Jonah and the whale?
A: You can’t keep a good man down!

Six people were on a plane. A doctor, a lawyer a priest and 3
children.
The pilot comes on the radio and says the plane is going to crash,and
there are only three
parachutes.
The doctor yells out, ” Save the children”
The lawyer yells out “FUCK THE CHILDREN!”
The priest yells out ” IS THERE TIME?”

One day a teacher was teaching religion, when she asked the class “What part of your body do you think goes up to heaven first?”
Two children rose their hand. One was little Johnny. Hesitant to pick on him she chose little Mary.
“I think your heart goes first because, that’s were your emotions of love are.”
“Very interesting.” replied the teacher. Seeing no one else had their hand raised but Johnny, she finally called on him.
“I think your feet go up first.”
Confused but relieved the teacher said, “Why is that?”
Johnny replied, “Once when I walked in my parents room I saw my dad on my mom, and she had her feet in the air saying “Oh God!”

A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident.
The two were in line to see St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter asked the lawyer his name and looked it up in
his book. He then asked the Pope for his name, and looked
it up in his book also. “Now, if you will come with me, I
will show you your eternal dwellings,” said St. Peter. They
walked along the clouds and came to a huge mansion with all
sorts of lavish trappings. St. Peter turned to the lawyer
and told him this was to be his house. The Pope, knowing how
important he was to the church could hardly imagine what his
house would be like. St. Peter and the Pope continued on to
a small, beat-up wooden shack. St. Peter told the Pope that
this would be his dwelling. The Pope, shocked, said to
St. Peter, “Just a minute! That other guy was a lawyer and he
gets a mansion. I was the head of the Roman Catholic church,
and this is all the reward I get?” St. Peter looked at the
Pope and said “True, you have done great things. But
we have lots of Popes in Heaven, and that guy was the first
lawyer ever to make it up here.”

OK, we all know that 666 is the Number of the Beast.

But did you know that:

660 – Approximate number of the Beast
DCLXVI – Roman numeral of the Beast
666.0000 – Number of the High Precision Beast
0.666 – Number of the Millibeast
/ 666 – Beast Common Denominator
666 ^ (-1) – Imaginary number of the Beast
1010011010 – Binary of the Beast
6, uh… what was that number again?
– Number of the Blonde Beast
1-666 – Area code of the Beast
00666 – Zip code of the Beast
1-900-666-0666: – Live Beasts! One-on-one pacts! Call Now!
Only $6.66/minute. Over 18 only please.
$665.95 – Retail price of the Beast
$699.25 – Price of the Beast plus 5% state sales tax
$769.95 – Price of the Beast with all accessories and
replacement soul
$656.66 – Walmart price of the Beast
$646.66 – Next week’s Walmart price of the Beast
Phillips 666 – Gasoline of the Beast
Route 666 – Way of the Beast
666 F – Oven temperature for roast Beast
666k – Retirement plan of the Beast
666 mg – Recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of Beast
6.66 % – 5 year CD interest rate at First Beast of Hell
National Bank, $666 minimum deposit.
Lotus 6-6-6 – Spreadsheet of the Beast
Word 6.66 – Word Processor of the Beast
i66686 – CPU of the Beast
666i – BMW of the Beast
DSM-666 (revised)
– Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the Beast
668 – Next-door neighbor of the Beast



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