A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in in New York City.
He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers around.
“A priest. Somebody get me a priest!” the man gasps. A policeman
checks the crowd—-no priest, no minister, no man of God of any kind.
“A PRIEST, PLEASE!” the dying man says again. Then out of the
crowd steps a little old Jewish man of at least eighty years of age.
“Mr. Policeman,” says the man, “I’m not a priest. I’m not even
a Catholic. But for fifty years now I’m living behind St. Elizabeth’s
Catholic Church on First Avenue, and every night I’m listening
to the Catholic litany. Maybe I can be of some comfort to this man.”
The policeman agreed and brought the octogenarian over to where
the dying man lay. He kneels down, leans over the injured and says
in a solemn voice:
“Under the B, 4. Under the I, 19. Under the N, 38.
Under the G, 54. Under the O, 72. . .”
Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: “The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.”
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 pm in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way again” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
“Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.”
Next Sunday is the family hay ride and bonfire at the Fowlers’. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water” The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus”
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack’s sermons.
During the absence of our Pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing “Break Forth into Joy.”
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say “hell” to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
Don’t let worry kill you off –let the Church help.
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.
Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
The Lutheran men’s group will meet at 6 pm. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.
Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 pm.–prayer and medication to follow.
A male pastor walked into a neighborhood pub to use the restroom. The place was hopping with music and dancing, until people saw the pastor.
As the room quieted down he walked up to the redhead bartender, and asked her, “May I please use the restroom?”
The redhead replied, “I really don’t think you should.”
“Why not?” the pastor asked. “I really need to use a restroom!”
“Well, I don’t think you should. There is a statue of a naked woman in there and she’s only covered by a fig leaf!”
“Nonsense,” said the pastor, “I’ll look the other way!”
So, the bartender showed the clergyman the door at the top of the stairs, and he proceeded to the restroom.
After a few minutes, he came back out, and the whole place was hopping with music and dancing again! He went to the bartender and said, “Miss, I, don’t understand. When I came in here, the place was hopping with music and dancing. Then the room became absolutely quiet. I went to the restroom, and now the place is hopping again.”
“Well, now you’re one of us!” said the redhead. “Would you like a drink too?”
“But, I still don’t understand,” said the puzzled pastor.
“You see,” laughed the redhead, “every time the fig leaf is lifted on the statue, the lights go out in the whole place. Now, how about that drink?”
A kindergartner was practicing spelling with magnetic letters on the
refrigerator: cat, dog, dad, and mom had been proudly displayed for all to
see. One morning while getting ready for the day, he bounded into the room
with his arms outstretched. In his hands were three magnetic letters: G-O-
D.
“Look what I spelled, Mom!” with a proud smile on his face.
“That’s wonderful!” his mom praised him. “Now go put them on the fridge so
Dad can see when he gets home tonight.”
The mom happily thought that her son’s Catholic education was certainly
having an impact. Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen: “Mom?
How do you spell ‘zilla’?”
