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Q: How many Clinton White House officials does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None. They like to keep him in the dark!

Q: What do Bill Clinton and a screwdriver have in common?

A: They both screw things.

Q: How does Bill keep Gennifer Flowers away from the White House?

A: He keeps offering to send Ted Kennedy over to give her a ride.

This statement was made by Representative Dick Armey when asked whether he would resign if he were in the president’s place:

“If I were in the president’s place I would not get a chance to resign. I would be lying in a pool of my own blood hearing Mrs. Armey standing over me saying, ‘How do I reload this damned thing?'”

During his visit to the United States, the Pope met with President Clinton.

Instead of just an hour as scheduled, the meeting went on for two days. Finally, a weary President Clinton emerged to face the waiting news media.

The President was smiling and announced the summit was a resounding success. He said he and the Pope agreed on 80% of the matters they discussed. Then Mr. Clinton declared he was going home to the White House to be with his family.

A few minutes later, the Pope came out to make his statement. He looked tired, discouraged and was practically in tears. Sadly he announced his meeting with the President was a failure.

Incredulous, one reporter asked, “But your Holiness, President Clinton just announced the summit was a great success and the two of you agreed on 80% of the items discussed”.

Exasperated, the Pope answered, “Yes, but we were talking about the Ten Commandments.”

© 2015