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Q: How did Bill Clinton get a crick in his neck?

A: Trying to save both faces.

A wealthy Democrat had a summer house in the Maine woods. Each summer he’d invite a different friend (no, that’s not the punch line) to spend a week or two. On one occasion, he invited a Czechoslovakian to stay with him. They had a splendid time in the country – rising early and living in the great outdoors. Early one morning they went out to pick berries for their morning breakfast. As they went around the berry patch along came two huge bears. The Democrat dashed for cover. His friend wasn’t so lucky and the male bear reached him and swallowed him whole. The Democrat ran back to his car, drove to town as fast has he could, and got the sheriff. The sheriff grabbed his rifle and dashed back to the berry patch with the Democrat. Sure enough, both bears were still there. “He’s in THAT one!” cried the Democrat, pointing to the male. The sheriff looked at the bears, and without batting an eye, leveled his gun, took careful aim, and SHOT THE FEMALE.
“Whatd’ya do that for?!” exclaimed the Democrat, “I said he was in the other!” “Yep,” said the sheriff, “and would YOU believe a Democrat who told you that the Czech was in the Male?”

The Top 16 Changes at the White House Now That the Clintons have a Puppy

16. To avoid confusion, staff reverts back to referring to Madelaine Albright by name.
15. New “doggy door” makes it that much easier to sneak out at midnight run to McDonald’s.
14. At long last, Bill won’t have to flinch *every* time he hears “Bad boy.”
13. President no longer the only one accused of burying his bone in someone else’s yard.
12. “Bitch” label now somewhat ambiguous.
11. Accusations of crotch-sniffing at the White House no longer automatically implicate the President.
10. New, unwelcome presents under the Christmas tree.
9. Obviously miffed Socks slips Kenneth Starr a note reading: “Bil kilt Vyns Fosdr!”
8. Shouts of “Come!” from Lincoln bedroom no longer make Hillary suspicious.
7. Chelsea drops to #2 on the White House Pug-Ugly List.
6. Pipe and slipper retrieval removed from Al Gore’s daily to-do list.
5. Roger Clinton no longer the only one to piddle in the Rose Garden.
4. Cries of “What a dog!” no longer make Janet Reno burst into tears at State dinners.
3. To the embarrassment of the trainers, dog still unable to tell Al Gore from a tree.
2. “Get that horny furball off my leg!” no longer refers exclusively to the President. The Number 1 Change at the White House Now That the Clintons have a Puppy…
1. Campaign donors staying overnight in the Lincoln Bedroom now find complimentary Tootsie Rolls on their pillows.

Did you here what Monica Lewinskys’ mother said when she brought home her dress?
What,doesn’t the White House have any club soda?

What is Monica’s favorite Chinese food?
Cream of sum young guy.

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