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Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a “tragedy.”
One little boy stands up and offers, “If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy.”
“No,” Clinton says, “That would be an ACCIDENT.”
A girl raises her hand. “If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved… that would be a tragedy.”
“I’m afraid not,” explains Clinton. “That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS.”
The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer.
“What?” asks Clinton, “Isn’t there any one here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”
Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: “If an airplane carrying Bill & Hillary Clinton were blown up by a bomb, THAT would be a tragedy.”
“Wonderful!” Clinton beams. “Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?”
“Well,” says the boy, “because it wouldn’t be an accident, and it certainly would not be a great loss!”

There’s this convention of doctors in Geneva, and a group of three doctors (composed of a Russian, German, and American) are discussing the latest advances in their respective countries.

The German doctor says, “Well, we can take a man who was maimed in an automobile accident, patch him up and have him looking for work in about two weeks!”

The Russian smiles and says, “This is not bad, but in our beautiful country, when a man comes to us with need of a transplant, no matter how serious it is, we have consistently succeeded in placing our clients back into the job market in less than a week!”

The American, not wanting to be outdone, simply states thus: “Well, in MY country, we can take a half-brain from Arkansas, put him in an Oval Office, and HALF the COUNTRY will be looking for work the next day!”

Chelsea asked her dad, “Do all fairy tales begin with once upon a time?” Bill Clinton replied, “No, some begin with ‘After I’m elected’.”

Bill and Hillary were married 40 years. When they first got married Bill said, “I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it.” In all their 40 years of marriage Hillary never looked.

However, on the afternoon of their 40th anniversary curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer cans and $1874.25 in cash. She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why.

That evening they were out for a special dinner. After dinner Hillary could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying, “I am so sorry. For all these years I kept my promise and never looked into the box under our bed. However today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know why do you keep the empty cans in the box?”

Bill thought for a while and said, “I guess after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again.”

Hillary was shocked, but said, “I am very disappointed and saddened but I guess after all those years away from home on the road, temptation does happen and I guess that 3 times is not that bad considering the years.”

They hugged and made their peace. A little while later Hillary asked Bill, “Why do you have all that money in the box?”

Bill answered, “Whenever the box filled with empties, I cashed them in.”

What did Bill Clinton say to Monica Lewinsky?
Can I be “blunt” with you?



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