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*Accusations of crotch-sniffing at the White House no longer automatically implicate the President.

*New “doggy door” makes it that much easier to sneak out for a midnight run to McDonald’s.

*At long last, Bill won’t have to flinch *every* time he hears “Bad boy.”

*President no longer the only one accused of burying his bone in someone else’s yard.

*Even more silly photo opportunities for the President on the White House lawn.

*New, unwelcome presents under the Christmas tree.

*Obviously miffed Socks slips Kenneth Starr a note reading “Bil luvs Monika!”

*Shouts of “Come!” from Lincoln bedroom no longer make Hillary suspicious.

*Chelsea now has to share her room with more popular sibling when she comes home from school.

*Pipe and slipper retrieval removed from Al Gore’s daily to-do list.

*Roger Clinton no longer is the only one to piddle in the Rose Garden.

*Cries of “What a dog!” no longer make Janet Reno burst into tears at State dinners.

*To the embarrassment of the trainers, dog still unable to tell Al Gore from a tree.

*”Get that horny fur ball off my leg!” no longer refers exclusively to the President.

Q: How do you break a Bill Clinton supporter’s finger?

A: Punch him in the nose.

Q: How many republicans does it take to raise your taxes?

A: None. The democrats do that.

Q: What do pub landlords say in Kosovo at chucking out time?

A: “Come on you lot, have you not got any homes to go to?”

There’s this convention of doctors in Geneva, and a group of three doctors (composed of a Russian, German, and American) are discussing the latest advances in their respective countries.

The German doctor says, “Well, we can take a man who was maimed in an automobile accident, patch him up and have him looking for work in about two weeks!”

The Russian smiles and says, “This is not bad, but in our beautiful country, when a man comes to us with need of a transplant, no matter how serious it is, we have consistently succeeded in placing our clients back into the job market in less than a week!”

The American, not wanting to be outdone, simply states thus: “Well, in MY country, we can take a half-brain from Arkansas, put him in an Oval Office, and HALF the COUNTRY will be looking for work the next day!”

© 2015