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President Clinton plans to reduce the budget deficit by an appeal to sacrifice. The problem, however, is that every time he gets near a virgin…

A friend of Ms. Lewinsky asked her how her new boyfriend compared to President Clinton. She replied, “Close, but no cigar.”

During the Republican primaries, George W. Bush spent his campaign money at a rate of $200,000 a day and broke Bob Dole’s record for most money spent on an entire presidential campaign. He’s spending money so fast, a national organization of scorned women has made him an honorary ex-wife.

If all the Democrats were laid end to end

a) it would be a good thing
b) they would be more comfortable
c) they would never reach a conclusion
d) all of the above
e) none of the above
f) they would point in different directions

A ghost, a vampire and a zombie were off scaring little kids and then went to a big house. A politician came out and the three monsters went off running.



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