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Greetings prospective White House interns! This year, our
program is heading into its 69th year of bringing America’s best and
brightest to the Nation’s Capitol to help the “Head Man” do his job.
We expect that 1998 will be the most exciting one yet! Why, you might
be asking yourself, do I want to be a part of this demanding, yet
rewarding program?
Check this out:
* Be a part of the action in the pulsing, throbbing political scene of
the hottest city in the world!
* Get up close and personal with some of America’s movers and shakers!
* See rooms in the White House that even a VIP tour won’t show you!
* Get total access to plenty of sensitive Presidential activities!
Sound like it’s for you? Just listen to this testimonial from a former
intern: “I couldn’t believe it! After only a few months on the job
answering phones and fetching coffee, there I was, debriefing the
president. …Getting involved in executive branch affairs is just
fantastic.”- M. Lewinsky, Beverly Hills, Calif. As you can see, being
a White House intern is more than long hours, hot debates and touchy
national issues. Still interested? Fill out this information form and
send it to the White House at [3]president@whitehouse.gov
Name:
Hometown:
Sex: F__
Age:
Measurements: (required for medical purposes)
How many beers it takes to get you… …Giggly: …Drunk: …Hot:
…To lie to a federal prosecutor:…
You’ve always considered the White House: a) a monument to democracy
b) the place where great leaders meet c) vaguely erotic d) extremely
erotic
Hillary Clinton is a(n): a) model wife and mother b) icon of late 20th
century femininity c) an obstacle d) inappropriate companion for the
leader of the free world
You’ve always wanted to know more about the President’s: a) Israeli
policies b) childhood in Hope, Ark. c) romper room d) “monument to
democracy”
My social life as an intern would likely consist of: a) hitting
Georgetown bars with the other interns b) reading, study c) late
nights working at the White House d) late nights working the White
House
Score 1 point for each a, 2 for each b, 3 for each c, 4 for each d.
Scores of 16 can start tomorrow. Scores of 12 and above, please call
soon, Uncle Sam wants you.
*Please feel free to forward this form to anyone you know who might be
interested in this program. The White House is an equal opportunity
employer.

Did you hear the latest theory about Monica Lewinsky?

It may never be proven but they think she may be the
youngest woman to have ever held the Presidency.

President Clinton and his wife are at the first baseball game of the
season. At the start of the game the pitcher comes up in the stands and
whispers something in Clinton’s ear. All of a sudden Clinton looks at
Hillary and yells, “Okay, Hillary, GET OUT!”. She looks surprised but
leaves. The pitcher looks at Clinton and says, “No, I said to throw out
the first PITCH!”

We, the people of Florida, are holding this election hostage.
When you, the people of the U.S., promise to stop sending us
your old people, we will release your election.

1. You have to believe that the nation’s current 8-year prosperity was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but yesterday’s gasoline prices are all Clinton’s fault.

2. You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.

3. You have to be against all government programs, but expect Social Security checks on time.

4. You have to believe that AIDS victims deserve their disease, but smokers with lung cancer and overweight individuals with heart disease don’t deserve theirs.

5. You have to appreciate the power rush that comes with sporting a gun.

6. You have to believe everything Rush Limbaugh says.

7. You have to believe that the agricultural, restaurant, housing and hotel industries can survive without immigrant labor.

8. You have to believe God hates homosexuality, but loves the death penalty.

9. You have to believe society is color-blind and growing up black in America doesn’t diminish your opportunities, but you still won’t vote for Alan Keyes.

10. You have to believe that pollution is OK as long as it makes a profit.

11. You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don’t pray to Allah or Buddha.

12. You have to believe Newt Gingrich and Henry Hyde were really faithful husbands.

13. You have to believe speaking a few Spanish phrases makes you instantly popular in the barrio.

14. You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.

15. You have to be against government interference in business, until your oil company, corporation or Savings and Loan is about to go broke and you beg for a government bail out.

16. You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares your hatred for AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton.

17. You have to believe government has nothing to do with providing police protection, national defense, and building roads.

18. You have to believe a poor, minority student with a disciplinary history and failing grades will be admitted into an elite private school with a $1,000 voucher.



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