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1. Any person with a valid Washington DC hunting license or a Federal Income Tax Return may harvest Democrats.
2. Taking of Democrats with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.
3. Killing of Democrats with a vehicle is prohibited. If one is accidentally struck, remove the dead Democrat to side of the road and proceed to the nearest car wash.
4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest Democrats from limousines, Mercedes Benz’s, the Metro, or Porsches.
5. It shall be unlawful to shout “pork barrel” or “free social programs” for the purpose of trapping Democrats.
6. It shall be unlawful to hunt Democrats within 100 feet of government buildings.
7. It shall be unlawful to use decision memos, draft legislation, conference reports, or RFP’s to attract Democrats.
8. It shall be unlawful to hunt Democrats within 200 feet of Senate or House hearing rooms, libraries, whorehouses, massage parlors, special interest group offices, bars, or strip joints.
9. If an Democrat is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it. It will also be a shame.
10. Stuffed or mounted Democrats must have a DC Health Department inspection certificate for rabies and vermin.
11. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise him or her self as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female congressional aide, male congressional aide, sheep, legislator, policy maker, bookie, lobbyist, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting Democrats.

Average Iraqi: Has visited the convergence of the Tigris and Euphrates, cradle of the ancient civilization founded by his ancestors

Average American: Once got really sick on the Wild Mouse ride at Six Flags theme park

Average Iraqi: Willing to participate in Holy War for his nation

Average American: Willing to participate in People’s Choice Awards

Average Iraqi: Lines up by the thousands to die for country

Average American: Will go to any extreme to avoid jury duty

Average Iraqi: Has endured many food shortages during wars with Iran and embargo by West

Average American: Shoves McDonalds cashier if their Happy Meal doesn’t include McCookies

Average Iraqi: Believes if he dies in battle, he will go straight to Paradise

Average American: Believes if, in a dream, you don’t wake up before hitting the ground, you die

Average Iraqi: Has friend or relative wounded in ruthless wars of conquest

Average American: Has beer guzzling uncle who shot self in foot on hunting trip

Average Iraqi: Thinks Saddam Hussein is a political genius

Average American: Thinks Saddam Hussein makes Dan Quayle seem like Einstein

Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch.
As they read the menu the waitress comes over and askes Clinton,
“Are you ready to order?”
Clinton replies, “Yes, I’d like a quickie.”
“A quickie?!?” the waitress replies. “Sir, given the current
situation of your personal life I don’t think that is a good idea.
I’ll come back when you are ready to order from the menu.”
She walks away.
Gore leans over to Clinton and says, “It’s pronounced Quiche.”

Finally, Serbian hackers hacked the navigation systems of “Tomahawk”
missiles – now they’re called “Boomerang.”

Three Republicans walk into a bar.
The bartender says, “We don’t serve Republicans here.”
The Republicans say, “That’s OK…We don’t serve you either.

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