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MONICA, MONICA
(To the tune of “A Bicycle Built For Two”)

Monica, Monica, give me a little head.
I’m half crazy, cause Hillary won’t share our bed.
She won’t give me head or spread ‘em.
Not even with a condom.
So, if you please, get on your knees,
And give me a little head!

The Clinton Health Plan has the:

1. Simplicity of the IRS.

2. Results of rent control.

3. Efficiency of the Post Office.

4. The fringe benefits of higher taxes

5. Management success of national debt.

6. Bureaucracy of the Dept. of Agriculture.

7. Dependency of a weather forecaster.

Clinton only lacks three things to become one of America’s finest leaders: integrity, vision, and wisdom.

We, the people of Florida, are holding this election hostage.
When you, the people of the U.S., promise to stop sending us
your old people, we will release your election.

The FBI reports less crime in the U.S. for the sixth straight year. “It’s no wonder,” said one observer. “All of Clinton’s business associates are either dead or in prison already.”

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Have you heard that the Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton?
The “Dodge Drafter” will begin production in Canada this year.

“The reason it’s always so difficult for this president to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, is because it’s usually three different stories.”
- Sam Donaldson

“Shouldn’t the president be held to the same standards as a TV sportscaster?”
- Marv Albert

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