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Q: How are Congressmen and baseball players alike?

A: They are millionaires who work 3 hours a day and left in August not finishing what they had started.

The Yugoslav news agency Tanjug reported that Yugoslavian
air defenses had shot down a NATO F-16 just after nightfall
while the jet was on a bombing run. The plane crashed into
an empty field, creating a huge crater. Serbian search and
rescue workers have recovered 307 bodies so far, proving
that NATO is using Albanian men, women and children terrorists
to wage their war of terror from the sky.

What do you get when you cross a crooked lawyer with a greedy politician?

Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year?

A: Because they can’t afford any more pork.

A traveller wandering on an island inhabited entirely by cannibals comes upon a butcher shop. This shop specialised in human brains differentiated according to source. The sign in the shop read:
Artists’ Brains $9/oz
Philosophers’ Brains $12/oz
Scientists’ Brains $15/oz
Republicans’ Brains $19/oz
Democrats’ Brains $2,000/oz

Upon reading the sign, the traveller noted, “My those Democrats’ brains must be popular!” To which the butcher replied, “Are you kidding! Do you have any idea how many Democrats you have to kill to get a ounce of brains?!”

© 2015