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Q: Why were the Clintonites pushing the BTU Tax?
A: Because they could spell it.

While Bill, Hillary and Chelsea were vacationing at Camp David the housekeeper was tasked with looking after their pet parrot. They hadn’t been gone for more than a couple of days when the parrot was found dead in the bottom of it’s cage.

The housekeeper knew the first family would be desolate at the loss of one of their family pets, so she set out to find a replacement bird and visited nearly every pet store in Washington. After nearly two days of looking non-stop, she came across an almost exact duplicate of the bird.

As she purchased the parrot, the shop owner cautioned her that the bird had previously be owned by a Madam and had lived for several years in a house of ill-repute. The housekeeper replied that no one would ever know and she took the bird back to the White House.

The morning after the Clintons return to the White House, Chelsea walked through the room and the bird said, “Too young.”

A little later Hillary came into the room and the bird responded with, “Too old.”

Late that afternoon the President entered the room and the bird said, “HI, BILL!”

Q: What’s the difference between a Democrat and a vampire?
A: A vampire only sucks blood at night.

Thousands of people are expected for the 15th annual Burning Man festival this year in Black Rock Desert north of Reno, Nevada. This is the big hippie festival, where people run around naked, drink and get stoned, or as George W. Bush likes to call it, get ready to run for president.

Bill Clinton, Bob Dole, and Newt Gingrich were in a car when they got caught in a tornado, and landed in The Land of Oz. When they got there. Bob Dole said he wanted to see the wizard and ask him for some pineapples. Newt Gingrich said when I see the wizard I will ask for a brain. Then Bill Clinton said, “Where’s Dorothy?”

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