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Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat?
A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won’t do.

Q: What does Bill Clinton have in common with his dick?

A: Both were once pointed sharply towards the left but are now, inexplicably, aimed directly at the center

A life long supporter of the labour party was lying on his death bed when he suddenly decided to join the Tory party.

“But why?” asked his puzzled friend, “You’re labour through and through… Why change now?”

The man learned forward and explained, “Well, I’d rather it was one of them that died and not one of us.”

… BAD *PRECEDENT:

Tipper: “How does it feel to be the big man, Hon?”

Al: “Well Tip, it took 17 lawsuits and 18 months of election recounts, but I’d do it all again.”

… BAD *PRESIDENT:

Mr. Bush, repeat after me. I do solemnly swear

- “I do solemonemoney swear…”

- that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States

- “… that I will fatally execute the official President of the United States…”

- and will to the best of my ability

- “… and will to the best of my abli-tilly …”

- preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States

- “… preservect defenestrate the United … the Constitual … the … um … of America.”

- So help me God.

- “So help me. So help my dog. Oh, God, is it over?”

Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in common?
A: They were both upset when Bill finished first



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