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These future bestsellers will not only be popular to the stupid, but they will also save trees. When they come out, you can expect each of them to take up no more than half of a page.

1. Attractive leaders of the Feminist Movement
2. Clinton Policies that actually save money
3. The Logic of the Politically Correct
4. History of the Countries where Socialism worked
5. Good Points of Clinton’s Health Program
6. Nazi-Feminists that Makes Sense
7. “The Submissive Woman” by Hillary Clinton.
8. Creating New Jobs in America – by Bill Clinton
9. “Life During Wartime” by Bill Clinton.
10. Avoiding the Tax and Spend Government – by Slick Willy
11. “Why People are More Important than Animals” – Greenpeace
12. “Deep-Thinking Liberals”
13. “The Contribution of Political Correctness to Free Speech”
14. “Why Political Correctness is not Censorship”
15. “The Merits of Gun Control”
16. “Feminists Worth Marrying”
17. “How Mass Unemployment Helps the Economy” by Socialists.
18. “To Tell the Truth” – by President Bill Clinton
19. Unshakeable Principles I Live By – by Bill Clinton
20. The Golden Voice of Roger Clinton
21. Roger Clinton: My Career Without My Brother Bill

The Secret Service got a real scare the other day when someone threw a beer at Bill Clinton during his morning jog. Fortunately, it was a draft, so he was able to dodge it.

Ma Bell will now be adding a new tax to Clinton’s telephone – a luxury tax!

Q: What is the difference between TV characters Dan and Roseanne Conner and the Clintons?

A: The Conners own their own home.

Acute – opposite of an ugly
Artery – the study of paintings
Bacteria – back door of a cafeteria
Barium – what doctors do to patients
Benign – what you are after you’re 8.
Bowel – letter like A,E,I,O, or U
Cat Scan – searching for a kitty
Cauterize – made eye contact with her
Cesarean Section – neighborhood in Rome
Colic – a sheep dog
Concussion – a prisoner’s sofa
Congenital – to be friendly
D & C – where the White House is
Dilate – to live too long
Enema – not a friend
Fester – quicker
Fibula – a small lie
Genital – not a Jew
GI series – a soldier ball game
Hangnail – a coat hook
Hospital – a prostitute ejecting saliva
Impotent – distinguished, well known
Jaundice – to include in a group
Kinesthetics – relationships among relatives
Labor Pain – getting hurt at work
Leper – a wild cat
Malaria – shopping place
Medical Staff – a doctor’s cane
Morbid – a higher bid
Nitrates – cheaper than day rates
Node – was aware of
Outpatient – a person who fainted
Pap Smear – a fatherhood test
Pelvis – a cousin of Elvis
Post-operative – a letter carrier
Prostate – flat on your back
Recovery Room – a place used for upholstery work.
Rectum – dang near killed ‘em
Rheumatic – amorous
Secretion – hiding something
Seizure – a Roman emperor
Serology – study of English Knighthood
Tablet – a small table
Terminal Illness………getting sick at the airport
Tumor – more than one
Urinate – two steps short of a perfect “10″.
Urine – opposite of you’re out
Varicose – nearby
Vein – conceited



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