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A mid-level executive was so frustrated at being passed over for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I.Q. 20 points.

After a battery of physical and psychological tests, he was told by the center’s director that he was an acceptable candidate.

“That’s great!” the executive said. “But I understand that this procedure can be really expensive.”

“Yes, sir, it can,” the director replied. “An ounce of accountant’s brain for example, costs one thousand dollars; an ounce of an economist’s brain costs two thousand; an ounce of a corporate president’s is forty-five thousand. An ounce of a Democrat’s brain is seventy-five thousand dollars.”

“Seventy-five thousand dollars for an ounce of a Democrat’s brain? Why on earth is that?”

“Do you have any idea,” the director asked, “how many Democrats we would have to kill?”

Q: What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a lawyer?
A: ChelseA:

This question was raised on a Philly radio call-in show. Without casting stones, it is a legitimate question. There are two men, both extremely wealthy. One develops relatively cheap software and gives billions of dollars to charity. The other sponsors terrorism. That being the case, why is it that the Clinton Administration spent more money chasing down Bill Gates over the past eight years than Osama bin Laden?

It is a strange turn of events. Hillary gets $8 Million for her forthcoming memoir. Bill gets about $12 Million for his memoir yet to be written. This from two people who have spent the past eight years being unable to recall anything about past events while under oath!

Gold Star Mothers is an organization made up of women whose sons were killed in military combat during service in the United States armed forces. Recently a delegation of New York State Gold Star Mothers made a trip to Washington, DC to discuss various concerns with their elected representatives. According to there was only one politician in DC who refused to meet with these ladies. Can you guess which politician that might be? Was it New York Senator Charles Schumer? Nope, he met with them. Try again. Do you know anyone serving in the Senate who has ever had anything but contempt for our military? Do you happen to know the name of any politician in Washington whose husband once wrote of his loathing of the military? Now you’re getting warm! You got it! None other than Hillary Clinton. She refused repeated requests to meet with the Gold Star Mothers. Now — please don’t tell me you’re surprised. This woman wants to be President of the United States — and there is a huge percentage of uninformed voters who are eager to help her achieve that.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: BILL CLINTON: Let me say this one more time. I did not have sexual relations with that chicken.

One day there were these three boys walking down
the street, all of a sudden they heard a yell: ‘HELP! HELP!’
When the boys got to the noise they saw Bill
Clinton in a lake drowning. The three boys saved
him from drowning. Bill Clinton asks the first
boy how he could ever repay him. The boy said,
‘I want a boat.’
The second boy said ‘I want a truck.’
And the third boy said, ‘I want three tombstones with are
names all on them.’ Bill Clinton said, ‘why is that son?’
The little boy said, ‘because when my Dad finds out that we
saved you, he is going to kill us all!’

© 2015