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When Albert Einstein died, he met three people in the line outside the Pearly Gates. To pass the time, he asked what were their IQs. The first replied 190. “Wonderful,” exclaimed Einstein. “We can discuss the contribution made by Ernest Rutherford to atomic physics and my theory of general relativity”. The second answered 150. “Good,” said Einstein. “I look forward to discussing the role of Gingrich’s Contract with America legislation in moving us into the twenty-first century”. The third person mumbled 50. Einstein paused, and then asked, “What was it like being Vice-President, Mister Gore?”

Clinton testified at the Paula Jones deposition he preferred to engage in sexual activity only on the days that started with
“T”: Tuesday, Thursday, Today, Tomorrow, Thaturday, and Thunday.

Did you hear the latest gossip on Monica Lewinsky?
She came out with a new brand of condoms: President’s choice!

Q: What does Bill Clinton have in common with his dick?
A: Both were once pointed sharply towards the left but are now, inexplicably, aimed directly at the center

The Top 16 Changes at the White House Now That the Clintons have a Puppy

16. To avoid confusion, staff reverts back to referring to Madelaine Albright by name.
15. New “doggy door” makes it that much easier to sneak out at midnight run to McDonald’s.
14. At long last, Bill won’t have to flinch *every* time he hears “Bad boy.”
13. President no longer the only one accused of burying his bone in someone else’s yard.
12. “Bitch” label now somewhat ambiguous.
11. Accusations of crotch-sniffing at the White House no longer automatically implicate the President.
10. New, unwelcome presents under the Christmas tree.
9. Obviously miffed Socks slips Kenneth Starr a note reading: “Bil kilt Vyns Fosdr!”
8. Shouts of “Come!” from Lincoln bedroom no longer make Hillary suspicious.
7. Chelsea drops to #2 on the White House Pug-Ugly List.
6. Pipe and slipper retrieval removed from Al Gore’s daily to-do list.
5. Roger Clinton no longer the only one to piddle in the Rose Garden.
4. Cries of “What a dog!” no longer make Janet Reno burst into tears at State dinners.
3. To the embarrassment of the trainers, dog still unable to tell Al Gore from a tree.
2. “Get that horny furball off my leg!” no longer refers exclusively to the President. The Number 1 Change at the White House Now That the Clintons have a Puppy…
1. Campaign donors staying overnight in the Lincoln Bedroom now find complimentary Tootsie Rolls on their pillows.

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