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After a weekend trip home to Arkansas, Bill Clinton stepped from the helicopter and onto the White House lawn. He was carrying two Arkansas-bred hawgs, one under each arm.
At the bottom of the steps, a young Marine snapped to attention, saluted sharply and said, “Fine looking pigs, sir!”
Clinton turned and glared at the boy. “Son, don’t You know I’m from Arkansas? These ain’t pigs. They’re hawgs.”
The Marine shot back, “Marine begs the Commander-In-Chief’s pardon, sir! Fine looking hawgs, sir!”
Clinton smiled with pride and the young man relaxed.
The President went on, “Thank you, son. You see this one here?” He lifted up the pig under his right arm. “I got this one for Chelsea.” Then he nodded to the hawg on his left. “And this one here, I got for Hillary.”
At that the Marine snapped back to attention and said, “Outstanding trade, sir!”

A cargo plane is in mid-flight over the ocean when suddenly the cockpit door bursts open to reveal an armed, masked hijacker to a startled pilot, copilot, navigator, and a passenger. The passenger happens to be George W Bush. (Why?} Maybe, he was on his way to check on the coca plant life in South America!”) The masked gunman held a gun to the pilot’s head and said, “Take this plane to Iraq or I’m gonna spill your brains all over the place.”

The pilot calmly reached up, pushed the gun aside and said, “Look buddy, if you shoot me this plane will crash right into the sea and you’ll die along with the rest of us.”

The hijacker thought about it, then held the gun to the copilot’s head and said, “Take this plane to Iraq or I’m gonna spill HIS brains all over the place.”

The copilot also calmly reached up, pushed the gun aside and said, “Listen to me. The pilot’s got a bad heart and he could keel over at the shock of my being killed. So if you shoot me, this plane will still crash right into the sea and you’ll die along with the rest of us.”

The hijacker thought about it for a moment and then held the gun to the navigator’s head and repeated, “Take this plane to Iraq or I’m gonna spill HIS brains all over the place.”

The navigator calmly reached up, pushed the gun aside and said, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Those other two guys have no sense of direction. Without me they couldn’t find their way out of a paper bag much less get this plane to Iraq. So if you shoot me, this plane will still crash right into the sea and you’ll die along with the rest of us.”

The hijacker thought some more, shrugged and this time held the gun to the passenger’s head and demanded, “Take this plane to Iraq or I’m gonna spill HIS brains all over the place.”

No one said a word, at first, then the pilot, co-pilot, and navigator all brust into laughter. “He’s George W Bush!” they laughed. “He doesn’t have any brains!”

Q: What’s the difference between Hillary Clinton and a pit bull?

A: The pit bull doesn’t carry a briefcase.

Q: What do Bill Clinton and a screwdriver have in common?
A: They both screw things.

“The glory of a nation rests upon the character of her men.”
- Herbert Hoover

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”
- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Character doesn’t matter.”
- Bill Clinton



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