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Q: What kind of jewelry does Hillary look best in?

A: Handcuffs.

Q: What is the basement where White House staffers work called?

A: The whine cellar.

There’s this convention of doctors in Geneva, and a group of three doctors (composed of a Russian, German, and American) are discussing the latest advances in their respective countries.

The German doctor says, “Well, we can take a man who was maimed in an automobile accident, patch him up and have him looking for work in about two weeks!”

The Russian smiles and says, “This is not bad, but in our beautiful country, when a man comes to us with need of a transplant, no matter how serious it is, we have consistently succeeded in placing our clients back into the job market in less than a week!”

The American, not wanting to be outdone, simply states thus: “Well, in MY country, we can take a half-brain from Arkansas, put him in an Oval Office, and HALF the COUNTRY will be looking for work the next day!”

Q: What’s the difference between Al Gore and Socialism?

A: He uses the phrase Social Entitlements instead.

A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, “Ribbit 9 Iron”.

“The man looks around and doesn’t see anyone. Again, he hears, “Ribbit 9 Iron.”

He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the cup.

He is shocked. He says to the frog, “Wow, that’s amazing!You must be a lucky frog, eh?”

The frog replies, “Ribbit Lucky frog.”

The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole.”What do you think, frog?” the man asks.

“Ribbit 3 wood.”

The guy takes out a 3 wood and, Boom! Hole in one. The man is befuddled and doesn’t know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, “Okay, where to next?”

The frog replies, “Ribbit Las Vegas.”

They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, “Okay, frog, now what?”

The frog says, “Ribbit Roulette.”

Upon approaching the roulette table, the man asks, “What do you think I should bet?”

The frog replies, “Ribbit $3000, black 6.”

Now, this should be a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game, the man figures what the heck.

Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table.The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and says, “Frog, I don’t know how to repay you.You’ve won me all this money and I am forever grateful.

“The frog replies, “Ribbit Kiss Me.”

He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it. With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl.”

And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room. So help me God or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton.



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