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Bill Clinton, Hillary Ramrod Clinton, Al Gore, and Tipper Gore are flying aboard Air Force 1 on their way to visit the Communists to share their success stories about taxing Americans.

Bill: “Why don’t I throw this hundred dollar bill out the window and make someone very happy.”

Hillary: “Well, why don’t you throw ten hundred dollar bills out the window and make ten people happy.”

Al: “Why don’t you two jump out the window and make me and Tipper happy.”

Tipper: “Why don’t we all jump out the window and make everybody throughout the United States and world happy.”

Here’s a tale from the oval office
Told without rancour or malice
About intern acts
And oral sex
On the presidential phallus.

Bill’s dick was out of its stable
With Monica willing and able
To meet and greet
That piece of meat
Beneath a White House table.

Matters of state were delayed
As he wanted a little quick head
But after one slick lick
On the end of his dick
He came on her blue dress instead.

Said Monica “This is really a pain
For you’ve gone and left a big stain
But no way will I wash it
I’ll keep it and stash it
For someday I may need it again.”

Said Bill “I hope that no-one has seen us
With you going down on my penis
For no one must know
That you gave me a blow
So we’ll keep this thing strictly between us.”

But after making so messy a slip
Between Bill’s dick and her lip
Monica felt a need to confess
About the stain on her dress
To the loathsome Linda Tripp.

To her cost poor Monica found
That Linda was wired up for sound
She had her tape running
For the tale of Bill’s cuming
And that’s how the word got around.

Then Tripp told that fellow Ken Starr
Who wanted Bill’s Balls in a jar
And he created a dinsky
That made Miss Lewinsky
Hand that dress into the bar.

This guy Starr will not rest
And the Feds are doing their best
To see if that spot
Is Bill’s cum or not
By running a DNA test.

Poor Bill feels a bit of a twit
About all that Lewinsky bit
For by being immoral
And indulging in oral
He’s landed himself in the shit.

You’ll remember Bill’s pot-smoking tale
And this time he’ll surely not fail
To say ejaculations
Aren’t sexual relations
Because Monica didn’t inhale.

Clinton testified at the Paula Jones deposition he preferred to engage in sexual activity only on the days that started with
“T”: Tuesday, Thursday, Today, Tomorrow, Thaturday, and Thunday.

(To the tune of Gilligan’s Island)

Oh sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip,
That started in Hope, Arkansas,
‘Tween Jennifer Flowers’ hips.

Her date was the mighty governor,
Bill Clinton was his name.
One night he met young Paula Jones,
And on to her he came.
And on to her he came.

WhiteWater started getting rough.
His mighty pecker was lost.
If not for the help of the Highway Patrol,
He couldn’t get it off,
He couldn’t get it off.

Willie left town and settled in,
This gorgeous new White House.
With Hillary, that damn cat too,
The Vice President and his wife,
Kenneth Starr, and a bed
Here at Slick Willie’s Place!

So this is the tale of our President,
He shows nothing now but class.
Nothing can distract him,
Except a piece of ass.
Except a piece of ass.

The First Lady and Tipper too,
Will do their very best.
To see that Willie’s comfortable,
In his government love nest.

He moves, he strikes, he reels them in,
He feels the passion burn.
Before she knows just what is up,
He’s banged the new intern.
He’s banged the new intern.

So join us here in court my friend,
I’m sure you will be pleased.
Just give your deposition,
And get down upon your knees.

The American Indians have nicknamed Bill Clinton as “Walking Eagle” because he is so full of shit that he can’t fly.

© 2015