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A life long supporter of the labour party was lying on his death bed when he suddenly decided to join the Tory party.

“But why?” asked his puzzled friend, “You’re labour through and through… Why change now?”

The man learned forward and explained, “Well, I’d rather it was one of them that died and not one of us.”


Tipper: “How does it feel to be the big man, Hon?”

Al: “Well Tip, it took 17 lawsuits and 18 months of election recounts, but I’d do it all again.”


Mr. Bush, repeat after me. I do solemnly swear

- “I do solemonemoney swear…”

- that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States

- “… that I will fatally execute the official President of the United States…”

- and will to the best of my ability

- “… and will to the best of my abli-tilly …”

- preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States

- “… preservect defenestrate the United … the Constitual … the … um … of America.”

- So help me God.

- “So help me. So help my dog. Oh, God, is it over?”

Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in common?
A: They were both upset when Bill finished first

Our president is a weasel, he is a hound. His is like one of the apes in the zoo who always seems to be openly masturbating when you walk by with your kids.

Terrorist pilot Mohammad Atta blew up a bus in Israel in 1986. The Israelis captured, tried and imprisoned him. As part of the Oslo agreement with the Palestinians in 1993, Israel had to agree to release so-called “political prisoners.” However, the Israelis would not release any with blood on their hands.

The American President at the time, Bill Clinton, and his Secretary of State, Warren Christopher, “insisted” that all prisoners be released. Thus Mohammad Atta was freed and eventually thanked the US by flying an airplane into Tower One of the World Trade Center.

This was reported by many of the American TV networks at the time that the terrorists were first identified.

It was censored in the US from all later reports.

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