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Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a “tragedy”. One little boy stands up and offers that, “If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street and a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy.”

“No,” Clinton says, “That would be an ACCIDENT.”

A girl raises her hand. “If a schoolbus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved…that would be a tragedy.”

“I’m afraid not,” explains Clinton. “That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS.”

The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer.

“What?” asks Clinton, “Isn’t there any one here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”

Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: “If an airplane carrying Bill and Hillary Clinton were blown up by a bomb, that would be a tragedy.”

“Wonderful!” Clinton beams. “Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?”

“Well,” says the boy, “because it wouldn’t be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss!”

from the book “Loony Laws” by Robert Pelton

In Ottumwa, Iowa, “It is unlawful for any male person, within the corporate limits of the (city), to wink at any female person with whom he is unaquainted.”

In Los Angeles, you cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.

In Zion, Ill., it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animals kept as pets. Kibo.

In Carmel, N.Y., a man can’t go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match. nj.

Attention Gooley: In Clawson, Mich., there is a law that makes it LEGAL for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.

In Gary, Ind., persons are prohibited from attending a movie house or other theater and from riding a public streetcar within four hours of eating garlic.

In Miami, it’s illegal for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. Blair!

In St. Louis, it’s illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket. cj!

In Detroit, couples are banned from making love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple’s own property. Jenine!

In Hartford, Conn., you aren’t allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands.

In Michigan, a woman isn’t allowed to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission. Gypsy!

In Baltimore, it’s illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-story window within the city limits.It’s also illegal to take a lion to the movies.

In Oxford, Ohio, it’s illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man’s picture. Gypsy?

In Nicholas County, W. Va., no member of the clergy is allowed to tell jokes or humerous stories from the pulpit during a church service.

In California, animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship. Gypsy.

In Pennsylvania, “any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue.”

In Carrizozo, N.M., it’s forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public (includes legs and face). Gypsy!

In Los Angeles, a man is legally entitled to beat his wife with a leather belt or strap, but the belt can’t be wider than 2 inches, unless he has his wife’s consent to beat her with a wider strap. gypsy.

In Kentucky, “No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club” gypsy

An amendment to the above legislation: “The provisions of this statuate shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds (gypsy), nor shall it apply to female horses.”

In the United States, the federal government forces states to set speed limits of 55 miles per hour or less. This law was later ammedend to allow travel at 65 miles per hour but only on rural roads.

Q: What’s the difference between Bill Clinton and David Koresh?

A: Some people still believe in David Koresh.

Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a “tragedy”. One little boy stands up and offers that “If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy.” “No,” Clinton says, “That would be an ACCIDENT.” A girl raises her hand. “If a schoolbus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved… that would be a tragedy.” “I’m afraid not,” explains Clinton.”That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS.”
The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer. “What?” asks Clinton, “Isn’t there any one here who can give me an example of a tragedy?” Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: “If an airplane carrying Bill & Hillary Clinton were blown up by a bomb, *that* would be a tragedy.”
“Wonderful!” Clinton beams. “Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?” “Well,” says the boy, “because it wouldn’t be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss!”

How is the Clinton cabinet like a bowl of Granola?
What ain’t fruit and nuts is flakes.



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