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First Lady Hillary Clinton and Attorney General Janet Reno were having one of those girl to girl talks. Hillary says to Janet, “You’re lucky that you don’t have to put up with men having sex with you. I have to put up with Bill, and there is no telling where he last had his pecker.”

Janet responded, “Just because I am esthetically challenged (that’s “politically correct” for ugly) doesn’t mean I don’t have to fight off unwelcome sexual advances.”

Hillary asks, “Well how do you deal with the problem?”

Replies Janet, “Whenever I feel that a guy is getting ready to make a pass at me, I muster all my might and squeeze out the loudest, nastiest, fart I can.”

Well, that night, Bill was already in bed with the lights out when Hillary headed to bed. She could hear him start to stir, and knew that he would be wanting some action. She had been saving her farts all day, and was ready for him. She tenses up her butt cheeks and forces out the most disgusting sounding fart you could imagine.

Bill rolls over and says, “Is that you Janet?”

What do you get when you cross Monica Lewinsky with Ted Kazinksy?
A dynamite blowjob.

This is an interesting bit of information that you don’t hear much about in the media — Certainly there is a political dimension here:

* Enron’s chairman did meet with the president and the vice president in the Oval Office.
* Enron gave $420,000 to the president’s party over three years.
* It donated $100,000 to the president’s inauguration festivities.
* The Enron chairman stayed at the White House 11 times.
* The corporation had access to the administration at its highest levels and even enlisted the Commerce and State Departments to grease deals for it.
* The taxpayer-supported Export-Import Bank subsidized Enron for more than $600 million in just one transaction. Scandalous!!
* BUT…the president under whom all this happened WASN’T George W. Bush.
* SURPRISE ……… It was Bill Clinton!

Please pass this on so the whole country will know. The media won’t!

Q: What did Boris Yelstin say when asked if meeting Clinton made want to convert Russia to the type of government they have in America?

A: “Never! I’m not going to let my wife run the country!!”

It was June 2006 and it was George Bush’s birthday. He went down to breakfast knowing Laura Bush would be pleasant and say “Happy Birthday,” and probably have a present for him.

She didn’t even say “Good Morning,” let alone any “Happy Birthday.” He thought, “Well, that’s wives for you. The children will remember.” The children came down to breakfast and didn’t say a word.

Then he started to the office and was feeling pretty low and despondent. As he walked into his office, his personal secretary, Janet said, “Good Morning, Mr. President, Happy Birthday.” And he felt a little better; someone had remembered. He worked until noon.

Then, Janet knocked on his door and said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside and it’s your birthday, let’s go to lunch, just you and me.”

He said, “By George, that’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go.” He went to lunch. They didn’t go where they normally go; they went out into the country to a little private place. They had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way back to the office, she said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day. We don’t need to go back to the office, do we’” He said, “No, I guess not.” She said, “Let’s go to my apartment.”

After arriving at her apartment she said, “Mr. President, if you don’t mind, I think I’ll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable.”

“Sure,” he excitedly replied. She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by his wife, children, and dozens of his friends. They were all singing Happy Birthday… …and there on the couch he sat… naked !

© 2015