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President Clinton plans to reduce the budget deficit by an appeal to sacrifice. The problem, however, is that every time he gets near a virgin…

Al Gore is so dull that his secret service code name is “Al Gore”.

When Albert Einstein died, he met three people in the line outside the Pearly Gates. To pass the time, he asked what were their IQs. The first replied 190. “Wonderful,” exclaimed Einstein. “We can discuss the contribution made by Ernest Rutherford to atomic physics and my theory of general relativity”. The second answered 150. “Good,” said Einstein. “I look forward to discussing the role of Gingrich’s Contract with America legislation in moving us into the twenty-first century”. The third person mumbled 50. Einstein paused, and then asked, “What was it like being Vice-President, Mister Gore?”

Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat?
A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won’t do.

Q: What does Bill Clinton have in common with his dick?

A: Both were once pointed sharply towards the left but are now, inexplicably, aimed directly at the center

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