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What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in common?
They were both upset when Bill finished first.

A guy walks into a DC curio shop. While browsing he comes across an exquisite brass rat. “What a great gag gift” he thinks to himself. After dickering with the shop keeper over the price, the man purchases the rat and leaves. As he’s walking down the street, he hears scurrying noises behind him. Stopping and looking around, he sees undreds, then thousands of rats pouring out of the alleys and stairwells into the street behind him. In a panic he runs down the street with the rats not far behind. The street ends at a pier; he runs to the end of the pier and heaves the brass rat into the Potomac. All of the rats scurry past him into the river where they drown. After breathing a sigh of relief and wiping his brow, the man heads back to the curio shop, finds the shop keeper and asks, “Do you have any brass Democrats?”

Hi guys.
We’ve all been putting in long hours, but we’ve really come
together as a group, and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting
up the poster that says “There is no I in team,” as well as the one that
says “Hang In There, Baby.” That cat is hilarious.
However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can’t forget to take care of
the cave. And frankly, I have a few concerns.
First of all, while it’s good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we
should be even more concerned about the scorpions in our cave. Hey, you
don’t want to be stung and neither do I, so we need to sweep the cave
daily. I’ve posted a sign-up sheet near the main cave opening.
Second, it’s not often I make a video address, but when I do, I’m trying
to scare the most powerful country on earth, okay? That means that while
we’re taping, please do not ride your razor scooter in the background.
Just while we’re taping. Thanks.
Third point, and this is a touchy one. As you know, by edict, we’re not
supposed to shave our beards. But I need everyone to just think hygiene,
especially after mealtime. We’re all in this together.
Fourth: food. I bought a box of Cheez-Its recently, clearly wrote “Osama”
on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, my Cheez-Its were gone.
Consideration. That’s all I’m saying.
Finally, we’ve heard that there may be American soldiers in disguise
trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for
them.
First patrol will be Omar, Muhammed, Abdul, Akbar, and Richard.

Love you lots.
Osama

A man was walking along when he spotted a small boy busily constructing something. He approached the boy and was shocked to see him playing with cow manure! For lack of anything better to say, he asked, “Little boy, what are you doing?”

The boy replied, “I am making George Bush with this manure, Mister.”

Now thoroughly taken aback, the man asked, “Why are you making George Bush? Why not make, er, Bill Clinton?”

The boy answered, “Oh no Mister, I can’t make Bill Clinton.”

“But why not?” asked the man.

The boy replied “Well, Mister, there isn’t enough here to make Bill Clinton.”

Q: How many helicopters does it take for White House aides to go play a round of golf?

A: Depends on how many were photographed.



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