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There were 5 presidents on the Titanic – Carter, Reagan, Bush, Nixon and Clinton. As the Titanic hit the iceberg…Bush exclaimed, “We hit an Iceberg” Reagan queried, “We hit what?” Carter declared, “Save the women and children!” Nixon said, “Screw the women!” Clinton asked, “Do we have time?”

Q: What does Bill Clinton have in common with his dick?
A: Both were once pointed sharply towards the left but are now, inexplicably, aimed directly at the center

On the Listening Tour, Hillary was pleased and proud that the local sandwich shop in a town she was visiting had named a sandwich after her. She was somewhat less pleased after she found out what was in it. “Mostly baloney,” said the proprietor.

What is Bill’s idea of safe sex?
A locked door.

Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: He doesn’t! He whines a while, says “I feel your pain”, and gets congress to pass a billion dollar light security bill, and blames Republicans and special interests for not making lightbulbs free.



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