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This is an interesting bit of information that you don’t hear much about in the media — Certainly there is a political dimension here:

* Enron’s chairman did meet with the president and the vice president in the Oval Office.
* Enron gave $420,000 to the president’s party over three years.
* It donated $100,000 to the president’s inauguration festivities.
* The Enron chairman stayed at the White House 11 times.
* The corporation had access to the administration at its highest levels and even enlisted the Commerce and State Departments to grease deals for it.
* The taxpayer-supported Export-Import Bank subsidized Enron for more than $600 million in just one transaction. Scandalous!!
* BUT…the president under whom all this happened WASN’T George W. Bush.
* SURPRISE ……… It was Bill Clinton!

Please pass this on so the whole country will know. The media won’t!

Saddam Hussein and Bill Clinton meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When Bill sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam’s chair.

They begin talking. After about five minutes, Saddam presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Clinton in the face. Confused, Clinton carries on talking as Saddam laughs.

A few minutes later, the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Clinton in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Clinton carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries.

But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Clinton in the privates, he’s finally had enough, knowing that he can’t do much without them functioning well.

“I’m going back home!” he tells the Iraqi. “We’ll finish these talks in two weeks!”

A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the United States for talks. As the two men sit down, Hussein notices three buttons on Clinton’s chair and prepares himself for the Yank’s revenge.

They begin talking and Bill presses the first button. Saddam ducks, but nothing happens. Clinton snickers. A few seconds later, he presses the second button. Saddam jumps up, but again nothing happens. Clinton roars with laughter. When the third button is pressed, Saddam jumps up again, and again nothing happens. Clinton falls on the floor in a fit of hysterics.

“Forget this,” says Saddam. “I’m going back to Baghdad!”

Clinton says through tears of laughter, “What Baghdad?

GEORGE WASHINGTON AND THE CHERRY TREE – The New Version
There has been a recent discovery among archives shedding new information regarding George Washington’s famous line “I can not tell a lie – I chopped down the Cherry Tree”.

It seems that someone was hiding nearby during the following discussion and copied this on parchment.

HERE’S THE STORY

“George, son, did you chop down the cherry tree?”

“No, Dad.”

“Son, because I trust you and have given you the privilege of running the plantation while I’m gone as a symbol of that trust, I’m going to believe you.”

SEVEN MONTHS LATER…

“George, your brother was talking to one of our slaves, and the slave told him he saw you chop down that cherry tree last winter. Did you?”

“No, Dad.”

“I think you are lying.”

“No, no, no! I swear I did NOT chop down the cherry tree.”

“Son, he saw you out here with your axe. Your punishment will be much worse for you if you lie. Now, tell me the truth!”

“Dad, I answered your question truthfully. Still, I must take complete responsibility for all my actions. While my answer was legally accurate, I did not volunteer information. Indeed, Dad, I did cause the cherry tree to be lying on the ground. To do this was wrong. It constituted a critical lapse in judgment and a personal failure on my part for which I am solely and completely responsible. I know my answer to you gave a false impression. I misled you, my own father. I deeply regret that. I can only tell you I was motivated by many factors.

“What I did, Dad, was use a saw to cause the cherry tree to fall. Only after the tree was already down did I go get my axe to chop off individual branches. So, I chopped off branches, but sawed down the tree. Look at the saw cut on the stump and the axe cuts on the branches. Therefore, legally, I told the truth. I ask you to turn away from the spectacle of this fallen tree and to return our attention to a solid family relationship. After all, who’s going to remember a cherry tree as a symbol of my character and ability to lead?”

During his visit to the United States, the Pope met with President Clinton.

Instead of just an hour as scheduled, the meeting went on for two days. Finally, a weary President Clinton emerged to face the waiting news media.

The President was smiling and announced the summit was a resounding success. He said he and the Pope agreed on 80% of the matters they discussed. Then Mr. Clinton declared he was going home to the White House to be with his family.

A few minutes later, the Pope came out to make his statement. He looked tired, discouraged and was practically in tears. Sadly he announced his meeting with the President was a failure.

Incredulous, one reporter asked, “But your Holiness, President Clinton just announced the summit was a great success and the two of you agreed on 80% of the items discussed”.

Exasperated, the Pope answered, “Yes, but we were talking about the Ten Commandments.”

There’s this convention of doctors in Geneva, and a group of three doctors (composed of a Russian, German, and American) are discussing the latest advances in their respective countries.

The German doctor says, “Well, we can take a man who was maimed in an automobile accident, patch him up and have him looking for work in about two weeks!”

The Russian smiles and says, “This is not bad, but in our beautiful country, when a man comes to us with need of a transplant, no matter how serious it is, we have consistently succeeded in placing our clients back into the job market in less than a week!”

The American, not wanting to be outdone, simply states thus: “Well, in MY country, we can take a half-brain from Arkansas, put him in an Oval Office, and HALF the COUNTRY will be looking for work the next day!”



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