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My four year old and I were discussing holidays, and I asked him, “What is the day which comes after Halloween when you have turkey?”

My husband quickly answered, “Election day.”

The Boston Globe reported today that Monica Lewinsky, depressed after the media comments about her figure, and wanting a new image, reported to a plastic surgeon for removal of her love handles. She emerged two days later with no ears.

ABSOLUTION

While the Pope was in the States he decided to grant absolution to three sinners.

The first person to come up was Hugh Grant. The Pope asked, “What is your sin?”

“I cheated on my girlfriend and got caught.”

The Pope replied, “Kneel down. I’ll bless you and grant you absolution.”

Next in line was Bill Clinton. “What was your sin, son?”

“I cheated on my wife.” The Philanderer in Chief replied.

“Kneel down, my son. I’ll bless you and grant you absolution.”

A third person came up and the Pope asked, “What is your name?”

“Monica Lewinsky.”

The Pope stroked his chin. “Hmmmm. Perhaps you should remain standing . . . “

What did Bill Clinton say after he was asked if Paula Jones was better than Monica Lewinsky?
Close but no cigar!

Q: What is the difference between an intelligent liberal and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.



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