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Q: How many republicans does it take to raise your taxes?
A: None. The democrats do that.

What’s the difference between John Denver and Michael Kennedy?
John Denver made it alive out of Aspen.

Has Elton John re-written any of his songs for Michael Kennedy?
Not yet, but he’s done one about the tree: “I’m Still Standing”

How can you be sure that Michael was really a Kennedy?
Check the family tree. A simple accident? Some witnesses insist there was a second tree at the snow-covered knoll…

What do Michael and JFK Jr’s magazine “George” have in common?
Wood pulp.

New bumper sticker… “Plant A Tree… Kill A Kennedy…”

An official Gallup survey polled over 1000 women with the question: Would you sleep with Former US President Bill Clinton?

1% said, “No”
2% said, “Yes”
97% said, “Never Again”

Bill Clinton was riding a horse in a parade. When it was over, he commented to Hillary that the horse he was riding must have been quite a stallion. Hillary said that she knew the horse he was riding happened to be a gelding.

Bill said, “I know it was a stallion because I kept hearing people say, ‘Look at the dick on that horse!'”

Dear Abby:

My husband is a lying cheat. He tells me he loves me, but he has cheated
our entire marriage. He is a good provider and has many friends and
supporters. They know he is a lying cheat, but they just avoid the issue.
He is a hard worker but many of his coworkers are leery of him. Every
time he gets caught, he denies it all. Then he admits that he was wrong
and begs me to forgive him.
This has been going on for so long, everyone in town knows he is a cheat.
I don’t know what to do.

Signed
Frustrated

– – – – – – – –

Dear Frustrated:

You should dump him. Now that you are finally a New York Senator, you
don’t need him anymore.



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