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During the Republican primaries, George W. Bush spent his campaign money at a rate of $200,000 a day and broke Bob Dole’s record for most money spent on an entire presidential campaign. He’s spending money so fast, a national organization of scorned women has made him an honorary ex-wife.

A member of the Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, explodes one day in mid-session and begins to shout, “Half of this Senate is made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!”

All the other Senators plead to the angry member that he withdraw his statement, or be removed from the remainder of the session. After a long pause, the angry member accepted.

“Ok,” he said, “I withdraw what I said. Half of this Senate is NOT made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!”

A PRESIDENT IN LOVE
(To the tune of Dion’s “A Teenager in Love”)

Last night we had a quarrel
Over a cute little tart
‘Cause I lost my head
From the very start.

Every night I think Ken Starr’s heard too much
Why must I be a President in love!?!

One day I loved old Hillary
Next day I was a cad
Guess I’m just a rake
A fun lovin’ happy lad.

Every night I think Ken Starr’s heard too much
Why must I be a President in love!?!

The dress was smeared
The blouse was too
I’ll be a happy man
If Monica says I do.

Every night I think Ken Starr’s heard too much
Why must I be a President in love!?!

If you wanna have sex with me
I’d like to do it too
And if you want to tell a lie
I’ll just go and pardon you.

Every night I think Ken Starr’s heard too much
Why must I be a President in love!?!

Q: What’s the difference between a Democrat and a vampire?
A: A vampire only sucks blood at night.

His baloney has a first name,
It’s “I did not inhale.”

His baloney has a second name,
“I wasn’t getting tail.”

He loves to sing it every day,
The White House people all just saaaaaaay,

That Billy Clinton has a way,
Of making B.S. sound OK !



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