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A police officer pulled over a red Porsche after it had run a stop sign. “May I see your driver’s license and registration please?” the officer asked.

“What’s the problem, officer?”

“Your just ran the stop sign back there at the last intersection.”

“Oh, come on pal, there wasn’t a car within miles of me.”

“Nevertheless sir, you are required to come to a full and complete stop, look both ways, and proceed with caution.”

“You gotta be kidding me!”

“It’s no joke, sir.”

“Look, I slowed down almost to a complete stop, saw no one within twenty miles, and proceeded with caution.”

“That’s beside the point, sir. You are supposed to come to a full and complete stop, and you didn’t. Now if I may see your license and registration.”

“You’ve got a lot of time on your hands, PAL! What’s the matter, all the doughnut shops closed?”

“Sir, I’ll overlook that last comment. Let me see your license and registration immediately!”

“I will, if you can tell me the difference between slowing down, and coming to a “full and complete stop.”

The police officer had enough. “Sir, I can do better than that.”

He opened the car door, dragged the obnoxious motorist out, and proceeded to methodically beat him over the head with his nightstick.

“Now sir, would you like me to slow down or come to a full and complete stop?”

A cop pulls a car over on the highway for speeding. When he asks for the driver’s license, the driver argued, “Speeding??? But officer, I was only trying to keep a safe distance between my car the the car in back of me.”

One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window.
The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Drop dead blonde, the works.
“I’ve pulled you over for speeding, Ma’me…. could I see your drivers license…?”
“…What’s a license…?” replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump.
“It’s usually in your wallet…” replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it. “Now may I see your registration…” asked the cop.
“Registration….. what’s that….?” asked the blonde. “It’s usually in your glove compartment…” said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration. “I’ll be back in a minute…” said the cop and walked back to his car.
The officer phoned into the dispatch to run a check on the woman’s license and registration. After a few moments, the dispatcher came back;
“Ummm…. is this woman driving a red sports car?” “Yes….” replied the officer “Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?” asked the dispatcher “Uh… yes” replied the cop.
“Here’s what you do….” said the dispatcher. “Give her the stuff back, and drop your pants…”
“WHAT!!? I can’t do that. Its….. inappropriate…” exclaimed the cop.
“Trust me….. just do it….” said the dispatcher.
So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said. The blonde looks down and sighs….. “Ohh no… not ANOTHER breathalyzer……”

A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the motorcycle officer walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, “I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Highway Patrolmen’s Ball.”

He replied, “Highway patrolmen don’t have balls.”

There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he’d just said. He then closed his book, got back on his motorcycle and left.

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a state police officer sees a car puttering along at 22 mph. He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five little old ladies-two in the front seat and three in the back-wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, “Officer, I don’t understand. I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?”
“Ma’am,” the officer replies, “you weren’t speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers.”
“Slower than the speed limit? No sir! I was doing the speed limit exactly — twenty-two miles an hour!” the old woman says quite proudly.
The state police officer, trying to contain a chuckle, explains to her that “22″ was the route number, not the speed limit.
A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned sheepishly and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.
“But before I let you go, ma’am, I have to ask…is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken, and they haven’t muttered a single peep this whole time,” the officer says with concern.
“Oh, they’ll be all right in a minute, Officer. We just got off Route 119.”



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