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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To escape an oppressive military regime.

What do you call 8 days in a row of office sex?
Hannukah Lewinsky.

A drunk goes to the doctor complaining of tiredness and headaches.

“I feel tired all the time, my head hurts, and I’m not sleeping. What is it, Doc?”

The doctor examines him thoroughly and says, “I can’t find anything wrong. It must be the drinking.”

“Fair enough,” replied the lush. “I’ll come back when you sober up.”

Q: Why is Chelsea growing up a confused child?

A: Because dad can’t keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them.

Amphibian American — frog
Aquatically-Challenged — drowning
Biologically-Challenged — dead
Caucasian Culturally-Disadvantaged — white trash
Certified Astrological Consultant — crackpot
Certified Crystal Therapist — crackpot
Certified Past-Life Regression Hypnotist — crackpot
Chronologically-Gifted — old
Co-Dependent — finger-pointer
Creatively Re-Dyed — blonde
Differently-Organized — messy
Differently-Brained — stupid
Energy-Efficient — off
Environmentally-Correct Human — dead
Facially-Challenged — ugly
Factually-Unencumbered — ignorant
Financially Inept — poor
Folically Independent — bald
Genetically Discriminating — racist
Grammatically-Challenged — one who has difficulties with grammar or (by extension)
Gravitationally-Challenged — fat
Horizontally-Challenged — thin
Horizontally-Gifted — fat
In Denial — unaware that forgetting something obviously proves it happened
In Recovery — drunk/junkie
In the Multidimensional — zoning
Intellectually-Impaired — stupid
Living-Impaired — dead
Maintenance Hole — man-hole
Mechanically-Challenged — broken down automobile
Metabolicly-Challenged — dead
Microslothicly-Challenged — Windows user
Monetarily-Challenged — poor
Morally -Challenged — a crook
Morally-Handicapped — someone who has no other reason to park in a handicapped zone.
Motivationally-Challenged — lazy
Musically-Delayed — tone deaf
Nasally-Disadvantaged — really BIG nose
Nasally-Gifted — large nose
Nitpicklike — humor challenged
One Who is PC — target
One Who is Not PC — target
Ontologically-Challenged — fictional or mythological The absolute root of all evil known
Osmotically-Challenged — Thirsty
Other-Aged — too old/young (dual purpose)
Outdoor Urban Dwellers — homeless
People of Height — too tall
Person of Region — redneck
Persons Living With Entropy — dead
Persons of Large Stature — NY Giants
Petroleum Transfer Technician — gas station attendant
Residentially Flexible — homeless
Romantically-Challenged — not with somebody at the moment
Rustically-Inclined — redneck
Sanitation Engineer — garbage man
Sexually-Focused Chronologically-Gifted Individual — dirty old man
Socially-Challenged — geek or nerd
Spacially-Perplexed — drunk
Target Equity Group — vocal minority
Uniquely-Coordinated — clumsy
Uniquely-Fortuned Individual on an Alternative Career Path — loser
Vertically-Challenged — short
Visually-Challenged — blind

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