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Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a chain saw?

A: A chain saw has a dynamic range.

INTEREST GROUP ECONOMIST VIRUS – Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer.
ECONOMETRICIAN VIRUS – Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of
POLITICAL THINK TANK ECONOMIST VIRUS – Doesn’t do anything, but you can’t get rid of it until next election.
GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS – nothing works on your system, but all your diagnostic software says everything is just fine.
MARXIAN ECONOMIST VIRUS – Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants to.
SOVIET ECONOMIST VIRUS – Crashes your computer, but denies it ever happened.
MAINSTREAM ECONOMIST VIRUS – It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases then in “self-defense.”
CENTRAL BANK ECONOMIST VIRUS – Makes sure that it’s bigger than any other file.
MULTINATIONAL CORPORATION ECONOMIST VIRUS – Deletes all monetary files, but keeps smiling and sending messages about how the economy is going to get better.
SUPPLY SIDE ECONOMIST VIRUS – Puts your computer to sleep for four years. When your computer wakes up, you’re trillion more dollars in debt.
NEW ECONOMY VIRUS – Also known as the “Tricky Dick Virus.” You can wipe it out, but it always makes a comeback.
ENVIRONMENTAL ECONOMIST VIRUS – Before allowing you to delete any file, it first asks you if you’ve considered the alternatives.

A boy asks his father to use the car and the father replies “No, not until you cut your hair!”.

The boy replies “But father…Jesus had long hair!”

To which his father says, “Yeah, but Jesus walked everywhere.”

Young Amanpreet never quite got over his miserable
childhood as an orphan in the ghetto. When he turned 18 he
joined the Marines, but old habits die hard and one night the
sergeant found him rummaging around the garbage and eating
out of the discarded cans and jars.

“On your free, Lizard Pecker,” he bellowed. “You’ll eat in
the message hall — you’re no better than the rest of us!”

As the plane was flying low over some hills near Athens, a lady asked the stewardess: “What’s that stuff on those hills?”

“Just snow,” replied the stewardess.

“That’s what I thought,” said the lady, “but this fellow in front of me said it was Greece.”

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