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Major Scandal during their presidency….
Nixon: Watergate
Clinton: Waterbed

The President’s biggest fear….
Nixon: The Cold War
Clinton: The Cold Sore

Complaints toward the President…..
Nixon: Carpet-Bombing
Clinton: Carpet-Burns

Their Vice-Presidents…
Nixon: His was Greek
Clinton: His is a Geek.

Presidential qualities…..
Nixon: Couldn’t stop Kissinger.
Clinton: Couldn’t stop kissing her.

Things the President couldn’t explain….
Nixon: The missing 18-minutes on the tapes
Clinton: The 36D bra in his briefcase

Job titles….
Nixon: Ex-President
Clinton: Sex-President

Slogans….
Nixon: Known for campaign slogan “Nixon’s The One”
Clinton: Known for women pointing at him and saying “He’s the one”

Known for….
Nixon: Famous for his widow’s peak
Clinton: Famous for bringing widows to their peak

Acquaintances….
Nixon: Well acquainted with G. Gordon Liddy
Clinton: Well acquainted with G Spot

Famous feats….
Nixon: Took on Ho Chi Minh
Clinton: Took on Ho

Quoted as….
Nixon: Talked about achieving peace with honor
Clinton: Talked of getting a piece while on her

Presidential Nicknames….
Nixon: Tricky Dick
Clinton: Tricky Dick

and finally, Presidential excuses….
Nixon: I am not a crook!
Clinton: I did not do nook!

Q: What’s the difference between a Democrat and a prostitute?
A: The prostitute give value for the money she takes.

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:
“My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb.”
“Well put,” the judge replied. “Using your logic, I sentence the defendant’s arm to one year’s imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses.”
The defendant smiled. With his lawyer’s assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

Q: How many Democrats does it take to destroy a light bulb?

A: None. They only know how to destroy the taxpayers.

Lawyers and computers have both been proliferating since 1970. Unfortunately, lawyers, unlike computers, have not gotten twice as smart and half as expensive every 18 months.



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