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Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One.

Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, “You know, I could throw a $100 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy.”

Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, “Well, I could throw ten $10 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy”.

Hillary tosses her perfectly hair-sprayed coif and says, “I could throw one hundred $1 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy.”

Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, “I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy!

Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.

Q: How do you embarrass an archeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

President Clinton, speaking in private with his advisor on public favor, told him that the planned invasion of Haiti will be the most unpopular thing that he has ever done as the President of the United States.

“Actually, sir, according to our research, the most unpopular thing you’ve ever done was to be inaugurated as President. It’s just been downhill from there.”

The president was awakened late one night by an urgent call from the Pentagon.

“Mr. President,” said the four-star general, barely able to contain himself, “There’s good news and bad news.”

“Oh no,” muttered the president. “Well, let me have the bad news first.”

“The bad news, sir, is that we’ve been invaded by creatures from another planet. ”

“Geez and the good news?”

“The good news, sir, is that they eat reporters and piss oil.”



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