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What do Monica and Lucille Ball have in common?
Both love a little cuban.

Q: What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?

A: Homeless.

Q: What’s the difference between a conductor and a sack of shit?

A: The sack.

– The booking is definite.

– We can fix it in the mix.

– My agent will handle it.

– Sure, it sounds fine at the back of the hall.

– The roadie took care of it.

– The club will provide the PA and lights.

– The place was packed.

– Don’t worry, you’ll be the headliner.

– It’s on the truck.

– My last band had a record deal, but we broke up before recording the album.

– Someone will be there early to let you in.

– I’m with the band.

– The band drinks free.

– You’ll get your cut tonight.

– We’ll supply someone for the door.

– There’ll be lots of roadies when you get there.

– You’ll have plenty of time for a soundcheck.

– We’ll definitely come to the gig.

– You can depend on me.

Documents released by the White House show that the Democratic National Committee asked Al Gore to make 140 calls to campaign donors, but he only connected on 56 of them. The other 84 hung up because he sounds just like a dial tone.

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