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What is the difference between George Washington, Richard Nixon, and Bill Clinton?
Washington couldn’t tell a lie, Nixon couldn’t tell the truth, and Clinton doesn’t know the difference.

A man went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked, “Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses?”
“Yes, of course,” said the doctor, “why not?!” – “Oh! How nice it would be,” said the patient with joy, “I have been illiterate for so long.”

What is Clinton’s Favorite Garden Tool?
The Blower.

Fidel dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter tells him
that he is not on the list and that no way, no how, does he belong in
heaven. Fidel must go to hell. So Fidel goes to hell where Satan gives him
a hearty welcome and tells him to make himself at home.
Then Fidel notices that he left his luggage in heaven and tells Satan, who
says, “No hay problema, I’ll send a couple of little devils to get your
When the little devils get to heaven they find the gates are locked –
St.Peter is having lunch – and they start debating what to do. Finally,
one comes up with the idea that they should go over the wall and get the
As they are climbing the wall, two little angels see them, and one angel
says to the other, “My goodness! Fidel has been in hell no more than
ten minutes and we’re already getting refugees!”

Q: Why do economists carry their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in the (morally/intellectually) handicapped parking.

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