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Q: What’s the difference between a puppy and a singer-songwriter?
A: Eventually the puppy stops whining.

What’s the definition of a nerd?

Someone who owns his own alto clarinet.

George W Bush, Dick Cheny and Bush’s mama, Barbara, are having a holiday at the North Pole. George W weighs … Well, we know how light he is. Cheny weighs so much, and Miss Barabara, well, we won’t mention a lady’s weight. One day, the three of them are having a trip on a sleigh.

Suddenly, they see a polar bear behind them. Quickly, they throw out all the luggage behind them, but this doesn’t help: the bear comes closer.

They realise that one of the three will have to sacrifice himself or herself so that the two others will be able to escape.

“You should do it”, George W. says to Cheny, “The bear will need more time to eat you then to eat me. We can’t expect Mama, here, to fight the bear.”

“I guess you’re right”, Cheny says. As he jumps out of the sleigh, he shouts, “For the G-O-P!”, and gets killed by the bear.

“Thank God for my brains”, George W. says, smirks. But, the bear reopens the chase.

“Now it’s your time, mama”, George W. says. “Your weight is bigger than mine and a good mama sacrifices herself for her childern.”

“George!” G. W’s mama says.

G.W. stands his ground, rather stares back, coolly, and very hard.

His mama shakes every hair of her white head, the color that George W. told us he put there. “I guess you’re right”, she says, and she also jumps out and gets killed.

“Thank God for my brains”, George W. giggles.

But still the bear won’t stop hunting the sleigh. George W. really gets mad, and he shouts out : “You stupid animal!! Just wait a minute!! I’ll take my gun and I’ll blow you to pieces!!”

Most people worry about getting AIDS from SEX.
Bill worries about getting SEX from AIDES!

A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he suddenly found himself at the Gates of Heaven.

St. Peter started to escort him inside, when he began to protest that his untimely death had to be some sort of mistake.

“I’m much too young to die! I’m only 35!”

St. Peter agreed that 35 did seem to be a bit young to be entering the pearly gates, and agreed to check on his case.

When St. Peter returned, he told the attorney, “I’m afraid that the mistake must be yours, my son. We verified your age on the basis of the number of hours you’ve billed to your clients, and you’re at least 108.”



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