Joke's Database
     
Have fun searching 100253 jokes and pictures!


Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: He doesn’t! He whines a while, says “I feel your pain”, and gets congress to pass a billion dollar light security bill, and blames Republicans and special interests for not making lightbulbs free.

Q: How many Trotskyists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None. Smash it!

Q: What does an accountant use for birth control?
A: His personality.

A priest and a rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train.
After a while, the priest put down his book and opened a conversation by saying, “I know that, in your religion, you’re not supposed to eat pork…but have you really never even tasted it?”
The rabbi closed his newspaper and responded, “I must tell you the truth. Yes I have, on the odd occasion.”
The rabbi had his turn of interrogation. He asked, “I know that in your religion, you’re supposed to be celibate… but…”
The priest interjected, “Yes, I know what you are going to ask, and yes, I have succumbed to temptation once or twice.”
The two resumed their reading. There was silence for a while.
Then the rabbi peeked around his newspaper and said, “Better than pork, isn’t it?!”

One afternoon, three close friends named Hercules, Sleeping Beauty and Don Juan, sat by the river contemplating their lives.

Bold and arrogant, Hercules exclaimed that he was surely the strongest person in the world.

“That may be true”, said Sleeping Beauty, “But I am better because I am obviously the most beautiful person in the world.”

Don Juan laughed at both of them and said that without a doubt, he must be the greatest person alive simply because he had been with the most women.

After several hours of argument, they decided to consult a Guru for the truth.

First, Hercules went into Guru’s cave. A few moments later he came out with a massive grin on his face. The Guru had said that he was, in fact, the strongest person in the world. He was very pleased.

Sleeping beauty came out of the cave with a lovely smile: “It is true! I AM the most beautiful woman in the world!”

Moments later a distraught Don Juan came stomping out of the cave: “Who the hell is Bill Clinton!!???”



© 2015 ijokedb.com