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* Two World Wars and One World Cup doo-dah doo-dah.

* Proper beer.

* You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket.

* You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events

* Union jack underpants.

* Water shortages guaranteed every single summer.

* You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.

* Bathing once a week-whether you need to or not.

* Ditto changing underwear.

* Beats being Welsh or Scottish.

A PRESIDENT IN LOVE
(To the tune of Dion’s “A Teenager in Love”)

Last night we had a quarrel
Over a cute little tart
‘Cause I lost my head
From the very start.

Every night I think Ken Starr’s heard too much
Why must I be a President in love!?!

One day I loved old Hillary
Next day I was a cad
Guess I’m just a rake
A fun lovin’ happy lad.

Every night I think Ken Starr’s heard too much
Why must I be a President in love!?!

The dress was smeared
The blouse was too
I’ll be a happy man
If Monica says I do.

Every night I think Ken Starr’s heard too much
Why must I be a President in love!?!

If you wanna have sex with me
I’d like to do it too
And if you want to tell a lie
I’ll just go and pardon you.

Every night I think Ken Starr’s heard too much
Why must I be a President in love!?!

Q: How do know a clarinet player is playing loud?

A: You can almost hear them.

Q: What is a recent economics graduate’s usual question in his first job?
A: What would you like to have with your french fries sir?

Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter tells them tonight’s
special is chicken almondine and fresh fish. The chicken sounds good,
I’ll have that,” Hillary says. The waiter nods. And the vegetable?”
he asks. Oh, He’ll have the fish,” Hillary replies.



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