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Q: Why don’t violists play hide and seek?

A: Because no one will look for them.

No wonder the English language is so hard to learn…. Some examples:

We polish the Polish furniture.

He could lead if he would get the lead out.

A farm can produce produce.

The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse.

The soldier decided to desert in the desert.

The present is a good time to present the present.

At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.

The dove dove into the bushes.

I did not object to the object.

The insurance for the invalid was invalid.

The bandage was wound around the wound.

There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

They were too close to the door to close it.

The buck does funny things when the does are present.

They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.

To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.

I shed a tear when I saw the tear in my clothes.

I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.

Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing. “Your honor,” he said, “I wanna get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine.” “Why?” asked the judge. “He won your acquittal. What do you want to have him arrested for ?” – “Well, your honor,” replied Carlson, “I didn’t have the money to pay his fee, so he went and took the car I stole.”

A man goes to a doctor because of chest pains he’s been having.

The doctor says, “Well, there are two divergent opinions on how best to treat you. I’m convinced you need a triple bypass. Your HMO says all you need to do is rub this $14 tube of salve on your chest.”

Tariff – A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.
Economy – Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.

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