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A guy walks into the doctor’s office and says, “Doc, I haven’t had a bowel movement in a week!” The doctor gives him a prescription for a mild laxative and tells him, “If it doesn’t work, let me know.” A week later the guy is back: “Doc, still no movement!” The doctor says, “Hmm, guess you need something stronger,” and prescribes a powerful laxative. Still another week later the poor guy is back: “Doc, STILL nothing!” The doctor, worried, says, “We’d better get some more information about you to try to figure out what’s going on. What do you do for a living?” “I’m a musician.” The doctor looks up and says, “Well, that’s it! Here’s $10.00. Go get something to eat!”

There were three nuns, they all told the priest that they were going to do one sin each. So the priest says, “ok, do your sins, come back, and I’ll bless you.” So, they went to do their sins and came back to get blessed.

The priest asked the first one who was laughing what her sin was. She said, “I had sex with a guy.”

The priest said, “ok,” blessed her and said, “go drink some holy water.” So she did!

The next one was laughing harder, and the priest asked her what her sin was. She said, “I got in a fight with another nun.”

The priest said, “ok,” blessed her and said, “go drink some holy water.” So she did!

The priest asked the last one who was laughing even harder what she did.
And as she was laughing she said, “I pissed in the holy water!”

A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS auditor who had come to review his records. At one point the auditor exclaimed, “Mr. Carr, we feel it is a great privilege to be allowed to live and work in the USA. As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to eagerly pay them with a smile.”
“Thank God,” returned Mr. Carr, “I thought you were going to want cash!”

President Clinton, returning from a campaign stop in Arkansas, is climbing the steps to board
Air Force One. Under each arm he is carrying a souvenir of his trip – a live razorback. At
the top of the jetway, he is met by the guard, a Marine sergeant, who issues a crisp salute.
“I’d salute you back, Sergeant,” says the President, “but as you can see, I’ve got my hands
full.”
“Yes, sir,” replies the sergeant. “Very nice pigs, sir. Very nice pigs.”
“Why, these aren’t pigs,” the President responds. “These are RAZORBACKS!”
“Yes, sir – razorbacks. Sorry, sir.”
“Yup,” Clinton continues. “Got this one for Chelsea, and this one for Hillary.”
The sergeant replies: “Very good trade, sir – very good trade.”

If all the economists were laid end to end

a) it would be a good thing
b) they would be more comfortable
c) they would never reach conclusion
d) all of the above
e) none of the above
f) they would point in different directions



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