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A man was walking home alone late one night when he hears a BUMP… BUMP… BUMP… behind him. Walking faster he looks back, and makes out the image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him … BUMP… ….BUMP… ….BUMP…

Terrified, the man begins to run towards his home, the coffin bouncing quickly behind him … faster… faster… BUMP… BUMP… BUMP. He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.

However, the coffin crashes through his door, with the lid of the coffin clapping … clappity-BUMP… clappity-BUMP… clappity-BUMP… on the heels of the terrified man.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in.

His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps. With a loud CRASH the coffin breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping towards him. The man screams and reaches for something, anything … but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!

Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the coffin …

…. and of course … the coffin stops!

Q: What do you get when you cross a Jehovah’s Witness and an atheist?
A: Someone who knocks on your door for no reason whatsoever. If God is dead, then what are they giving out at communion?

Q: Why was it difficult for Clinton to fire Monica Lewinsky?

A: He couldn’t give her a pink slip without asking her to try it on first.

How can you tell when a drummer is at your door?

The knock gets faster.

Q: A van with four actors in it goes off a cliff. What’s the tragedy in this?

A: You can fit a lot more than four actors in a van.

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