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When I told the doctor’s receptionist that I kept thinking I was a billiard ball she told me to get the end of the cue.

Our president is a weasel, he is a hound. His is like one of the apes in the zoo who always seems to be openly masturbating when you walk by with your kids.

Q: How is golf like taxes?

A: Well, you drive hard to get to the green, and then you wind up in the hole.

Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
A: Shoot him before he hits the water.

The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. “What seems to be the problem?” the doctor asked.

“Well, I, uh,” she stammered. “I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac.”

“I see,” he said. “I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour.”

“That’s not bad,” she replied. “How much for all night?”



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