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Q: If you were out in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an in-tune tenor sax player, an out-of-tune tenor sax player, or Santa Claus?

A: The out-of-tune sax player! You were hallucinating the other two.

• “Kbar Khali-Kili Haftir Lotfan.”
Thank you for showing me your marvelous gun.

• “Khrel, Jepaheh Maneh Va Jayeii Amrikahey”
I will tell you the names and addresses of many American spies travelling as reporters.

• “Tikeh Nuneh Ba Ob Khrelleh Bezorg Va Khube Boyast Ino Begeram”
The water soaked breadcrumbs are delicious, thank you. I must have the recipe.

• “Ekr Gabul Cardan Davat Parh Gush Divar”
I am delighted to accept your kind invitation to lie down on the floor with my arms above my head with my legs apart.

• “Maternier Ghermez Ahlieh Ghorban”
The red blindfold would be lovely, excellency.

• “Howmaeh Fekr Tamomeh Oeh Gorteh Bande”
I agree with everything you have ever said and thought in your whole life.

• “Balli, Balli, Balli”
Whatever you say.

• “Auto Arraregh Davateman Mano Sephaheh- Hasti”
It is exceptionally kind of you to allow me to travel in the trunk of your car.

• “Cashal-Eh Fashal-Eh Tupheman Na Degat Man Goftam Cheeshayeh Mohemarir Behmeshvarehma.”
If you will do me the kindness of not harming my genital appendages, I will gladly reciprocate by betraying my country in public.

A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, “Ribbit 9 Iron”.

“The man looks around and doesn’t see anyone. Again, he hears, “Ribbit 9 Iron.”

He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the cup.

He is shocked. He says to the frog, “Wow, that’s amazing!You must be a lucky frog, eh?”

The frog replies, “Ribbit Lucky frog.”

The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole.”What do you think, frog?” the man asks.

“Ribbit 3 wood.”

The guy takes out a 3 wood and, Boom! Hole in one. The man is befuddled and doesn’t know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, “Okay, where to next?”

The frog replies, “Ribbit Las Vegas.”

They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, “Okay, frog, now what?”

The frog says, “Ribbit Roulette.”

Upon approaching the roulette table, the man asks, “What do you think I should bet?”

The frog replies, “Ribbit $3000, black 6.”

Now, this should be a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game, the man figures what the heck.

Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table.The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and says, “Frog, I don’t know how to repay you.You’ve won me all this money and I am forever grateful.

“The frog replies, “Ribbit Kiss Me.”

He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it. With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl.”

And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room. So help me God or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton.

Q: What’s the difference between Bill Clinton and Joseph Stalin?

A: Some of Stalin’s subjects admired him.

• “Kbar Khali-Kili Haftir Lotfan.”
Thank you for showing me your marvelous gun.

• “Khrel, Jepaheh Maneh Va Jayeii Amrikahey”
I will tell you the names and addresses of many American spies travelling as reporters.

• “Tikeh Nuneh Ba Ob Khrelleh Bezorg Va Khube Boyast Ino Begeram”
The water soaked breadcrumbs are delicious, thank you. I must have the recipe.

• “Ekr Gabul Cardan Davat Parh Gush Divar”
I am delighted to accept your kind invitation to lie down on the floor with my arms above my head with my legs apart.

• “Maternier Ghermez Ahlieh Ghorban”
The red blindfold would be lovely, excellency.

• “Howmaeh Fekr Tamomeh Oeh Gorteh Bande”
I agree with everything you have ever said and thought in your whole life.

• “Balli, Balli, Balli”
Whatever you say.

• “Auto Arraregh Davateman Mano Sephaheh- Hasti”
It is exceptionally kind of you to allow me to travel in the trunk of your car.

• “Cashal-Eh Fashal-Eh Tupheman Na Degat Man Goftam Cheeshayeh Mohemarir Behmeshvarehma.”
If you will do me the kindness of not harming my genital appendages, I will gladly reciprocate by betraying my country in public.



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