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An old man saw a very tired infantryman resting after a hard foot march. The man said with disdain: “When I was of your age I thought nothing of a ten-mile hike.”

“Well, I don’t think much of it either,” replied the GI.

Q: How do you stop a guitar player from drowning?

A: Shoot him before he hits the water.

Young Amanpreet never quite got over his miserable
childhood as an orphan in the ghetto. When he turned 18 he
joined the Marines, but old habits die hard and one night the
sergeant found him rummaging around the garbage and eating
out of the discarded cans and jars.

“On your free, Lizard Pecker,” he bellowed. “You’ll eat in
the message hall — you’re no better than the rest of us!”

Q. What did the bagpiper get on his I.Q. test?

A: Drool.

Q: Why did Bill go out to sea on an aircraft carrier?

A: To promote off-shore drilling.

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