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Q: How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Depends on what you want to change it into.

Q: What do you call a little girl in a brown dress who is running across a playground?
A: A brownian motion.

A lawyer who works in Seattle gets a call about an emergency which requires him to immediately fly out of the state for a short period of time. He has no time to pack, so he calls home to tell his wife he is going. The maid answers the call, but is quite hesitant about putting his wife on the phone.

After quite a bit of interrogation, she admits that the wife is upstairs in bed with the mailman! The lawyer is furious, and wants to rush right home, but of course there is the emergency of which he must take care.

So, he tells the maid to go and get the gun from the desk drawer and kill both his wife and the mailman.

She protests! The lawyer explains that under Washington State law it is legal to kill your adulterous wife and her lover. Using his silver tongue, he finally convinces her to do it.

She puts down the phone, and soon the lawyer hears a scream, the sound of two gun shots, some loud thumps and finally, two splashes.

The maid comes back to the phone. The lawyer asks, “Did you kill them?”

“Yes,” she replies.

The lawyer questions her again, “What did you do with the bodies?”

“I threw them in the pool,” she responds.

There is a brief pause from the lawyer. He asks her, “Did you say the POOL?”

“Yes! I threw them in the pool!” she says.

“Uh, is this 555-5555?”

Three Marines were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.

The first Marine said “those are deer tracks.”

The second Marine said “No, those are elk tracks.”

The third Marine said “You’re both wrong, those are moose tracks.”

The Marines were still arguing when the train hit them.

Q: What does the band now play when Clinton enters the room?
A: Kneel to the Chief!



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