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Q: You’re trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a guitar player You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?

A: You shoot the guitar player. Twice.

A musician calls the symphony office to talk to the conductor. “I’m sorry, he’s dead,” comes the reply.

The musician calls back 25 times, always getting the same reply form the receptionist.

At last she asks him why he keeps calling. “I just like to hear you say it.”

Q: What’s the smartest thing a guitar player can say?

A: “My wife says…”

Q – What’s the difference between a guitar player and a bag of garbage?

A – The garbage gets taken out at least once a week.

Q: How do you get five oboes in tune?

A: Shoot four of them.

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