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Q: How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Five. One to handle the bulb, and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would’ve done it.

Q: How do you know when a trumpet player is at your door?

A: The doorbell shrieks!

What do you get when you cross a drummer and an ape?

a retarted ape.

How do you get a drummer to play an accelerando?

Ask him to play in 4/4 at a steady 120 bpm.

Two bass players were engaged for a run of Carmen. After a couple of weeks, they agreed each to take an afternoon off in turn to go and watch the matinee performance from the front of house. Joe duly took his break; back in the pit that evening, Moe asked how it was. “Great,” says Joe. “You know that bit where the music goes `BOOM Boom Boom Boom’–well there are some guys uptop singing a terrific song about a Toreador at the same time.”



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