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What do you call a building full of guitarist?

jail.

Q: How many sound men does it take to change a light bulb?

A: “One, two, three, one, two, three…”
A: “Hey man, I just do sound.”
A: One. Upon finding no replacement, he takes the original apart, repairs it with a chewing gum wrapper and duct tape, changes the screw mount to bayonet mount, finds an appropriate patch cable, and re-installs the bulb fifty feet from where it should have been, to the satisfaction of the rest of the band.

Q: Why does a viola burn longer than a violin?

A: It is usually still in the case.

A man gives his son an electric bass for his 15th birthday, along with a coupon for four bass lessons. When the son returns from his first lesson, the father asks, “So, what did you learn?”

“Well, I learned the first five notes on the E string.” Next week, after the second lesson, the father again asks about the progress, and the son replies, “This time I learned the first five notes on the A string.”

One week later, the son comes home far later than expected, smelling of cigarettes and beer. So the father asks: “Hey, what happened in today’s lesson?”

“Dad, I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to my lesson; I had a gig!”

Did you hear about the time the bass player locked his keys in the car?

It took two hours to get the drummer out.



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