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Q: What’s the definition of a nerd?

A: Someone who has his or her own alto clarinet.

Q: Why do only 10% of guitar players make it to heaven?

A: Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

What do you call a building full of guitarist?


Q: How many sound men does it take to change a light bulb?

A: “One, two, three, one, two, three…”
A: “Hey man, I just do sound.”
A: One. Upon finding no replacement, he takes the original apart, repairs it with a chewing gum wrapper and duct tape, changes the screw mount to bayonet mount, finds an appropriate patch cable, and re-installs the bulb fifty feet from where it should have been, to the satisfaction of the rest of the band.

Q: Why does a viola burn longer than a violin?

A: It is usually still in the case.

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