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Q: How can you tell the stage you’re playing on is level?

A: The banjo player is drooling out of both sides of his mouth.

Why are viola jokes so short?

So violinists can understand them.

Q: How do you protect a valuable instrument?

A: Hide it in an accordion case.

Q: How do you make a french horn sound like a trombone?

A: Take your hand out of the bell and lose all sense of taste.

Q: Why are a organist’s fingers like lightning?

A: Because they rarely strike the same place twice.

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