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Why don’t bass players ever catch a cold?

Even a virus has some pride.

Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a chain saw?

A: A chain saw has a dynamic range.

Q. What’s the definition of a quarter tone?

A: A bagpiper tuning his drones.

Q. What’s the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?

A: No one cries when you chop up an bagpipe.

A Hornplayer is fishing. Suddenly he catches a Fish! But the fish says to the hornplayer: “If you let me go, I will tell you two important things about your future, I have good news and I have bad news for you.”

“That’s a deal”, the horn-player says.

“Well, the good news is, when you are going to die, you will play 2nd horn in heaven, next to Buyanovski!”

“Woooooow!!” the hornplayer screams, “that’s great!”

“Yeah,” the fish says, “but the bad news is that you will have to start tomorrow!”



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