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Q: What is perfect pitch on a flute?

A: When it misses the rim of the toilet as you throw it in.

Q: What would a musician do if he won a million dollars?
A: Continue to play gigs until the money ran out.

If you took all the tenors in the world and laid them end to end…it would be a good idea.

Satchmo always got his hair cut in the salon of Monsieur Dudas in New Orleans’ French Quarter. As a young, penniless artist, he ran up quite a bill there. Since he couldn’t pay, he promised instead to advertise for the hairdresser. That’s why he ended so many songs by “… Ah, Barber Dudas”

Q: What is the difference between a soprano and a Porsche?

A: Most musicians have never been inside a Porsche.

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