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Q What do you do with a bad conductor?

A Stand next to him during a thunder storm.

Why is it so difficult to tune a chang?

So that violist can feel superior about something.

Why was the piano invented?

So the musician would have a place to put his beer.

Q: How do you stop a guitar player from drowning?

A: Shoot him before he hits the water.

Q. What did the bagpiper get on his I.Q. test?

A: Drool.

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