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Q:When Better Than Ezra took the number one spot on the college music charts, who was at number two?

A:Ezra.

C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve minors,” and E-flat leaves. C and G have an open fifth between them and after a few drinks, G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, “Excuse me, I’ll just be a second.”

A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor and sends him out. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and shouts, “Get out now. You’re the seventh minor I’ve found in this bar tonight.”

Next night, E-flat, not easily deflated, comes into the bar in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says: “You’re looking pretty sharp tonight. Come on in. This could be a major development.” And in fact, E-flat takes off his suit and everything else and stands there au naturel. Eventually, C, who had passed out under the bar the night before, begins to sober up and realizes in horror that he’s under a rest.

So, C goes to trial, is convicted of contributing to the diminution of a minor and sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an up scale correctional facility. The conviction is overturned on appeal, however, and C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.

The bartender decides, however, that since he’s only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest and closes the bar.

A musician calls the orchestra office, asks for the conductor, and is told that he is dead.

The musician calls back 25 times more and gets the same message from receptionist.

She asks why he keeps calling. He replies, “I just like to hear you say it.

Q: Why don’t they know where Mozart is buried?

A: Because he’s Haydn!

The booking is definite

Your check’s in the mail

We can fix it in the mix

This is the best dope you’ve ever had

The show starts at 8

My agent will take care of it

I’m sure it will work

Your tickets are at the door

It sounds in tune to me

Sure, it sounds fine at the back of the hall

I know your mic is on

I checked it myself

The roadie took care of it

She’ll be backstage after the show

Yes, the spotlight was on you during your solo

The stage mix sounds just like the program mix

It’s the hottest pickup I could get

The club will provide the PA and lights

I really love the band

We’ll have it ready by tonight

We’ll have lunch sometime

If it breaks, we’ll fix it for free

We’ll let you know

I had nothing to do with your marriage breaking up.

The place was packed

We’ll have you back next week

Don’t worry, you’ll be the headliner

It’s on the truck

My last band had a record deal, but we broke up before recording the album

Someone will be there early to let you in

I’ve only been playing for a year

I’ve been playing for 20 years

We’ll have flyers printed tomorrow

I’m with the band

The band drinks free

You’ll get your cut tonight

We’ll supply someone for the door

You’ll have no problem fitting that bass cabinet in the trunk of your car

There’ll be lots of roadies when you get there

It’s totally compatible with your current program

You’ll have plenty of time for a soundcheck

This is one of Jimi’s old Strats

We’ll definitely come to the gig

You can depend on me



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