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Top Ten Uses For Tubas ~

10. A musical instrument.

9. A floatation device.

8. Something flute players can’t keep their hands off.

7. A mirror.

6. Punishment. (freshmen + Kieth carry heavy tubas all year)

5. A battering ram

4. A chair.

3. Babe Magnet

2. Trash Can (freshmen + Kieth’s tubas)

1. Storage Container for music, field show charts, soda, food, tools, towels, and koosh balls!!

Q: What is the definition of a “crying shame”?

A: There was an empty seat.

Did you hear about the electric bass player who was so bad that even the lead singer noticed?

Q: When guitarist die, why are they buried in a hole 24 feet deep?

A: Because down deep, they are all nice guys!

How many clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but he’ll go through a whole box of bulbs before he finds just the right one.

How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one; she just holds it in place, and the whole world revolves around her.

How many altos does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they cannot reach it.

How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just steal somebody else’s light.

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the guitarist has to show him first.

How many blue grass musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three, one to change the bulb and two to complain that it’s electric.

How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Four, one to put in the new bulb and three to sing about how good the old one was.

How many country bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
One, five, one, five, one, five . . .

How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
“What? Oh, wow! Is it like dark, man?”

How many sound techs does it take to change a light bulb?
“Hey, I just do sound.”

How many union stagehands does it take to change a light bulb?
Thirty five. “YOU GOTTA PROBLEM WITH THAT?”



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