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A solider stationed in the South Pacific wrote to his wife in the States to please send him a harmonica to occupy his free time and keep his mind off of the local women. The wife complied and sent the best one she could find, along with several dozen lesson & music books.
Rotated back home, he rushed to their home and thru the front door. “Oh darling” he gushed, “Come here… let me look at you… let me hold you! Let’s have a fine dinner out, then make love all night. I’ve missed your lovin’ so much!”
The wife, keeping her distance, said, “All in good time lover. First, let’s hear you play that harmonica.”

When little Reggie was inducted into the Army, he was advised to act tough.

“That’s the only way to command respect in the Army,” his friends said.

So Reggie did his best to carry out the advice. He swaggered all around camp, bragging, blustering and talking out of the corner of his mouth.

“Show me a sergeant and I’ll show you a dope,” Reggie shouted.

No sooner had he spoken than a brawny, battle-hardened figure appeared.

“I am a sergeant!” he bellowed.

“I am a dope,” whispered Reggie.

Top Ways The Army Is Trying To Boost Recruiting

8. Military transport flights now earn you Delta frequent flier miles

7. Where else can you shoot guns and get awakened in the middle of the night by loud explosions besides New York, Chicago and Detroit?

6. Get rid of all those creepy “Richard Simmons Wants You” posters

5. Intelligence spy satellite may be used to watch television 24 hours a day

4. Superiors may now be addressed as “Dude”

3. Make it so every hand grenade has a creamy nougat center

2. Next mission: all-out invasion of Temptation Island

1. New slogan “Army of One” replaces “Hope You Like Scrubbing Latrines!”

A young Army 1st Lt. is in the bathroom (head) releaving
himself at the urinal, when a young boy walks in. The boy,
seeing the young Lt.’s green uniform asks him if he was in the
Army. The Lt. smiles and say’s, “Why yes I am…you wanna
wear my hat?” The boy nods and the hat is placed on his head.
As the boy admired himself in the mirror, the bathroom door
slammed open and an old Marine Corps Gunnery Sgt walked in.
He was decked out in his Dress Blue Uniform, with medals down
his chest. The boy, seeing the uniform asked him, “Hey, are
you a Marine?” The Gunnery Sgt peared down at the boy and
responded, “That’s right! Why? Do wanna suck me off?” The
boy replied nervously, “I-I-I’m not in the Army!! I’m just
wearing his hat!!”

The 1982 Israeli invasion of Lebanon resulted in many dogfights between Syrian and Israeli jet fighters.

In the end, the Syrians lost over 80 planes and had a number of SAM batteries knocked out, while the Israelis lost no planes.

Sometime later, the Syrian Defense Minister was shopping for weapons in Moscow.

His host, the Soviet Defense Minister, was embarrassed about the scorecard from Lebanon.

He told his Syrian guest, “Take anything you want – our best tanks, rifles, or surface-to-air missiles.”

“No, no – you don’t understand!” the Syrian replied. “Last time you gave us surface-to-air missiles. This time we need surface-to-*jet* missiles!”



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