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Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, “Why do you want to join the Navy, son?”

“My father said it’d be a good idea, sir.”

“Oh? And what does your father do?”

“He’s in the Army, sir.”

Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days.

“Why, my outfit was so well drilled,” declared one, “that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click.”

“Very good,” conceded the other, “but when my company presented arms you’d just hear slap, slap, jingle.”

“What was the jingle?” asked the first. “Oh,” replied the other offhand, “just our medals.”

Q: How many U.S. Marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him.

A recruit who wasn’t really meant to be a soldier went out to the rifle
range for the first time. He missed every target and most of the hills
behind them. Despondent, he said to the sergeant, “I think I’ll just go
and shoot myself.”
The sergeant said, “Better take a couple of extra bullets!”

An Army grunt stands in the rain with a 35 lb. pack on his back, 15 lb. weapon in hand, after having marched 12 miles, and says, “This is shit.”

An Army Airborne Ranger stands in the rain with a 45 lb. pack on his back, weapon in hand, after having jumped from an airplane and marched 18 miles, and says with a smile, “This is good shit!”

A Navy Seal lies in the mud, 55 lb pack on his back, weapon in hand, after swimming 10 miles to shore, crawling through a swamp and marching 25 miles at night past the enemy positions, says with a grin, “This really is great shit.”

A Marine, up to his nose in the stinking, bug-infested mud of a swamp with a 65 lb pack on his back and a weapon in both hands after jumping from an aircraft at high altitude, into the ocean, swimming 12 miles to the shore, killing several alligators to enter the swamp, then crawling 30 miles through the brush to assault an enemy camp, says, “I love this shit!”

An Air Force officer sits in an easy chair in his air conditioned, carpeted BOQ room and says, “The cable’s out? What kind of shit is this?”

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