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The patient’s family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say. “Things don’t look good. The only chance is a brain transplant. This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves.”

“Well, how much does a brain cost?” asked the relatives.

“For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000.”

Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but the older men nodded in understanding, and a few actually smirked. Then the patient’s daughter asked, “Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?”

“A standard pricing practice,” said the head of the team. “Women’s brains have to be marked down because they’re used.”

“I can’t find a cause for your illness,” the doctor said. “Frankly, I think it’s due to drinking.”

“In that case,” replied his blonde patient, “I’ll come back when you are sober.”

It was a stifling hot day and a man fainted in the middle of a busy intersection. Traffic quickly piled up in all directions, and a woman rushed to help him. When she knelt down to loosen his collar, a man emerged from the crowd, pushed her aside, and said, “It’s all right Honey, I’ve had a course in first aid.”
The woman stood up and watched as he took the ill man’s pulse and prepared to administer artificial respiration. At this point she tapped him on the shoulder and said, “When you get to the part about calling a doctor, I’m already here.”

The allergists voted to scratch it.

The dermatologists preferred no rash moves.

The gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it.

The microsurgeons were thinking along the same vein.

The neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve.

The obstetricians stated they were laboring under a misconception.

The ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted.

The orthopedists issued a joint resolution.

The parasitologists said, “well, if you encyst.”

The pathologists yelled, “over my dead body!”

The pediatricians said, “grow up.”

The proctologists said, “we are in arrears.”

The psychiatrists thought it was madness.

The surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.

The radiologists could see right through it.

The internists thought it was a hard pill to swallow.

The plastic surgeons said, “this puts a whole new face on the matter.”

The podiatrists thought it was a big step forward.

The D.O.s thought they were being manipulated.

The urologists felt the scheme wouldn’t hold water.

The anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas.

The cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.

And the otologists were deaf to the idea.

The new wing didn’t fly!

Travis goes to the doctor and tells the doctor”I c-c-can’t s-s-stop s-s-stuttering”.the doctor checks him over and says”the problem is your dick is to big and it’s pulling down on your vocal cord and causing you to stutter.the way to fix it is to cut half of it off”.Travis says “w-w-whatever it t-t-takes”.
Six weeks later Travis goes back to the doctor and says”I don’t stutter anymore but my wife and girlfriend left me.i want you to put it back on”.the doctor said”F-F-Fuck y-y-you”.

© 2015