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Oops!
Has anyone seen my watch?
That was some party last night.
I can’t remember when I’ve been that drunk.
Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
Well this book doesn’t say that…
What edition is your manual?
OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.
Come back with that! Bad Dog!
Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?
Hand me that…uh…that uh…..thingie
If I can just remember how they did this on ER last week.
Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
Damn, there go the lights again…
Ya know, there’s big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy’s got two of ‘em.
Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
Could you stop that thing from beating; it’s throwing my concentration off.
I wish I hadn’t forgotten my glasses.
Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
Steril, shcmeril.
The floor’s clean, right?
What do you mean he wasn’t in for a sex change!
What do you mean, he’s not insured?
This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
Don’t worry. I think it is sharp enough.
What do you mean “You want a divorce”!
I don’t know what it is, but hurry up and pack it in ice.
Let’s hurry, I don’t want to miss “Bay Watch”
That laughing gas stuff is pretty cool. Can I have some more of that?
Hey Charlie, unzip the bag on that one, he’s still moving.
Did the doctor know he would look like that afterwards?
Of course I’ve performed this operation before, Nurse!
FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!

ARE YOU SINGING IN THE SHOWER?

Having lunch one day, a sex therapist said to her friend, “According to a survey we just completed, ninety percent of all people masturbate in the shower. Only ten percent of them sing.”

“Really?” asked the friend.

The therapist shook her head and proceeded to ask, “And do you know what song they sing?”

The friend nodded her head and replied, “No.”

The therapist replied, “I didn’t think so.”

“Doctor, doctor, I’ve lost my memory.”
“When did this happen?”
“When did what happen?”

QUICK PERILS OF DRINKING

Doctor: “It’s no good. I can’t find anything wrong with you. It must just be the effects of drinking.”

Patient: “I’ll come back when you’re sober then!”

TOP TEN THINGS YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR IN SURGERY

1 Don’t worry. I think it is sharp enough.

2 Nurse, did this patient sign the organs donation card?

3 Damn! Page 84 of the manual is missing!

4 Everybody stand back! I lost a contact lens!

5 Hand me that…uh…that uh…..thingie

6 Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.

7 “Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness”

8 Whoa, wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?

9 “Ya know, there’s big money in kidneys. Hell, he’s got two of’em

10 What do you mean “You want a divorce?”



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