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Courts Throw the Book at 12-Year-Old Girl

COLORADO – It’s not uncommon for children to return library books late. When 12-year-old Marisa Gohr returned her dolphin book after the due date, she paid the $9 fine and considered the issue resolved.

And then she received a summons to appear in the Littleton Municipal Court on July 9th. Her mother tried appealing to the court to have the summons dismissed, but the judge upheld the decision and said Marisa herself would have to appear.

The library says they try to do everything they can before resorting to the court system, but the child’s mother doesn’t understand the decision, especially given that her daughter already paid the fine and returned the book.

According to the judge, Marisa will have to provide her fine receipt and pay a $15 court fee to have the issue dismissed.

Marisa admits that she is worried about her court appearance because she is so young.

Q: Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.

A law firm receptionist answered the phone the morning after the firm’s senior partner had passed away unexpectedly. “Is Mr. Spenser there?” asked the client on the phone.

“I’m very sorry, but Mr. Spenser passed away last night,” the receptionist answered. “Can anyone else help you?”

The man paused for a moment, then quietly said, “no” and hung up.

Ten minutes later, he called again and asked for Mr. Spenser, his ex-wife’s lawyer. The receptionist said, “You just called a few minutes ago, didn’t you? Mr. Spenser has died. I’m not making this up.” The man again hung up.

Fifteen minutes later, he called a third time and asked for Mr. Spenser. The receptionist was irked by this time. “I’ve told you twice already, Mr. Spenser is dead. He is not here! Why do you keep asking for him when I say he’s dead? Don’t you understand what I’m saying?”

The man replied, “I understand you perfectly. I just like hearing you say it over and over.”

A man walks into a bar. He sees a beautiful, well-dressed woman sitting on a bar stool.

He walks up to her and says, “Hi there, how’s it going tonight?”

She turns to him, looks him straight in the eyes and says, “I’ll screw anybody at any time, any where — your place or my place, it doesn’t matter one iota.”

The guy raises his eyebrows and says, “No shit!?! What law firm do you work for?”

The professor of a contract law class asked one of his better students, “If you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?”
The student replied, “Here’s an orange.”
The professor was outraged. “No! No! Think like a lawyer!”
The student then replied, “Okay. I’d tell him `I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title, claim and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds, anything herein before or hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding…’”

© 2015