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Put employees into a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave them without any instruction and check back on them in two hours.

* If they have taken the table apart…
…assign them to engineering.

* If they are counting butts in the ashtray…
…put them in finance.

* If they are talking to the chairs…
…assign them to personnel.

* If they are sleeping…
…they are management material.

* If they do not notice when you walk in…
…place them in security.

* And if they have left early…
…put them in sales.

Q: How much time can I spend going to the bathroom?
A: As long as it takes.

Q: When I leave, can I take my cubicle walls?
A: Take them where?

Q: What’s my astrological sign?
A: I’d say it’s the dodo bird.

A man applied for a job as an industrial spy. Together with several other applicants, he was given a sealed envelope and told to take it to the fourth floor.
As soon as the man was alone, he stepped into an empty hallway and opened the envelope. Inside, a message read: “You’re our kind of person. Report to the fifth floor Personnel Office.”

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